Love & Money: Is There Balance In Your Relationship?

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Love & Money: Is There Balance In Your Relationship? [EXPERT]
Do your finances cause tension in your relationship?

Everyone has the emotional need for certainty, but one person in a relationship may be more predominantly driven than the other. How much of what you do, don't do or get anxious about stems from your need to feel comfortable or stable? Your need for certainty may be why you don't change jobs, why you eat unhealthy "comfort" food, procrastinate or watch way too much TV, none of which may be helping your bank account most effectively.

Each of us has different vehicles through which we meet our need for certainty. One may feel comfort from having a savings or retirement account, another may need to feel safe by having a particular level of income or type of job stability. Knowing what you and your partner need to feel comfortable is vital, because when you don't feel certain enough, fear can dominate you and your passion will go out the window. How Compassion Facilitates Forgiveness

 

Fear can bring difficulty to your communication, create disconnection and threaten the very stability of your relationship. You may think, "This jerk doesn't know how to communicate," when in fact, it may just be that he's afraid. Understanding this can empower you to respond from compassion instead of reacting un-resourcefully. Then, together you will be in a better position to receive ideas, change perceptions and take necessary or inspired action. As you do, watch how obstructing fears subside, passion increases and creative ideas to improve your finances get enacted.

Each of us also has a need for loving connection, yet one partner could need this even more than their partner needs certainty. "We could be broke, but if I know we still love each other, I'll be fine." Sounds good on paper, but if the partner who has a dominant need for certainty feels out of control economically and thus withdraws affections, the relationship could become stressed to a breaking point over time. Stress Management: Balancing Work And Love

One key to navigating such a love/money challenge is to seek to unselfishly give your partner what they most need, and to do it in a way that resonates with them. For example, provide the certainty they need by telling your mate that you will always be there for them and that you believe they have what it takes to work through their financial trials.

In another other case, you might offer love and connection to your significant other by getting out of your self-concern and giving them words of kindness, physical affection, thoughtful care and supportive actions. While this may not seem like it has much to do with money, consider the fact that studies have shown that sharing a passionate kiss with one's honey before leaving for work has a considerable positive impact on the annual income of that household.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
 
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