The victim says, "Well, I don’t deserve to thrive. I would rather stay stuck and live a life of mediocracy than live a life that I've only ever dreamed of." The problem with this thought process is that you continue to value a man who is no longer in your life than to give yourself the transformative gift of change.
Any time that I have felt fear when considering the option to make an investment in myself, I have done it. What I have come to learn is this: if you want to break out of your low self-esteem rut and build up your confidence, you have to do the opposite of what the fear is telling you. Otherwise you will stay where you are.
Just as you need to go to the gym to lose the weight, breaking through your fear to ask someone to help is the first step to getting yourself out of being a victim. It is the first step to building confidence so you can trust the decisions you make and break free of confusion and discomfort. The more you face your fear, the stronger you become. And, in my experience, once you break through the barrier of fear and commit to change, nothing short of miracles await on the other side.
Life starts beyond your comfort zone, and seeking someone to help you is the starting point. Cultivating self esteem is not a comfortable journey, but are you not already uncomfortable? Aren’t the best things in life worth making an effort for?