50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

Are You Wracked With Guilt Over An Affair?

By

guilt forehead woman
It's written all over your face.
Five steps toward self-forgiveness and moving on from someone who has been there herself.

4. See the balance. This is a very powerful part to getting you over affair guilt. We live in a world of complimentary opposites. There are no pluses without minuses and no going up with out coming down. There is no night without day and you cannot create a dark shadow without light. As there are benefits and drawbacks to every situation, you will need to look at what the benefits are to all parties involved.

Now, this goes beyond justification, beyond wanting to be right — this is about being able to see that just as you may have caused pain to those around you, you will have also caused them pleasure too. It's impossible for this not to be this way as it is a universal law.

Ask yourself what are the benefits of you doing what you did to whom you did it to. They will have benefited from what you did, they always do. For example, my ex-husband is now happily married and with someone that is far better suited than me. Not only that, he got to stand on his own two feet and end the relationship, which gave him the opportunity to re-claim his power back.

More from YourTango: The Breakup Diet: Why Heartbreak Affects Our Appetite

5. Learn from it. And finally, take the positive learnings from the experience and move on. Once I had learned what my patterns were, what beliefs and parts of myself I needed to work on, I was able to let go of the anger at myself and know the next relationship would be really different because I would have changed.

This way I wouldn't fall into the same patterns again and not always be a cheater. It is definitely not true when people say, "Once a cheater, always and a cheater"  ... at least not if you work on yourself and get the support you need to shift what has not been working for you thus far.

To get the support you need, download the first free chapters of my book Goodbye Mr Ex.

I personally had to change what I thought of myself and what beliefs I had about me. Once I had done this (and do this with my clients) I knew I would choose a different behavior next time. Believing you have to suffer for what you have done does not help anyone. So forgive, accept, surrender, see and learn and watch the guilt dissolve.

More from YourTango: For Real Love, Tap Into Some Self Esteem

To connect with Marina to read her blogs, watch her videos and download her free ebook "7.5 mistakes That Keep Women Stuck," go to www.DivorceShift.com

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

Should I stay or Should i go? 5 Ways To Make The Best Decision

By

In my coaching practice, I often come across women who are really confused and stuck as to whether they should stay or go in a relationship. Instead of making a decision, they waiver from wanting to leave,  succumbing to their fear of what would happen if they were to, to wanting to avoid the guilt of making the first move. I have been there ... Read more

Single On Valentine's Day And Loathing It? 5 Ways To Get Happy

By

Valentine's day is looming. And for some it's a day full of candles and romanitc cards but for others it can exacerbate the feeling of loneliness and insecurity. This article is for you if you find yourself alone on that day and wishing you weren't, with some reminders for you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, the light is ... Read more

Pesky Money Myths That May Sabotage Your Relationship

By

Having recently got married and never before shared my financial resources with anyone, it's been challenging, to say the least, to share resources with my husband — but it's something that I am willing to explore. There have been lots of ups and downs in this department, and we still get into heated arguments about money and who needs to ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
happiest

Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

happy couple older

Just Say No: The 4 Types of People You Shouldn't Date

You can avoid bad relationships simply by avoiding certain types of people.

Heart

Hundreds of Matchmakers Descend on NYC to Spread The Love!

The 2014 Matchmakers and Date Coaches conference has arrived!

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS