Last week I was reminded of what a lot of women feel like when they are the ones who are dumped by their ex. One of the ladies who came to my Meet Up Group said to me that she felt like a failure because her relationship hadn’t worked out. What is interesting about this is that this is not something uncommon. I often see this statement rearing its ugly head, making sure that it keeps them small and hurting.
Believing that you are a failure because your relationship hasn’t worked out is NOT true. If you are reading this and you were left feeling this way – I challenge you on this notion. What “I feel like a failure” is really saying is “That my whole identity was defined by my ex-relationship.”
IS THIS TRUE?
Of course it's not. You are not your ex-relationship and you are certainly not a failure. You are not just one thing either. We have to be really careful as to the words we use and how we use them as they will define your reality.
If you were to say “ There was a lot to learn from that relationship and the one great learning I got from it was…” does that not make you feel better? The second definition will immediately take your mind to ask – “what did I learn?” vs the first statement which will just keep you stuck.
I believe that there is no such thing as failure – only learning experiences. Some of the most successful people on the planet have become successful because they have learnt from their past.
To find out about some important learning experiences, download your FREE copy of Goodbye Mr Ex - A Woman's Guide to Moving On
As women we will tend to put the blame on ourselves and judge ourselves to no end and this (like any other) can become a habit that only serves to get others to say “poor you”. What if the end of the relationship with your ex marks the beginning of an incredible relationship with yourself?
This last statement is most likely to be true.
Because when a relationship ends you can start to really focus on yourself and what you want. The universe is always guiding us in one direction or another, and I believe that relationships break down because it was time to heal the self. And work on you.
If you want to connect with me and read more of my blogs,videos and download your FREE ebook on 7 Mistakes Women Make To STOP Them Moving On please do so by going to www.DivorceShift.com