5 Ways You Can Learn To Trust Again After Infidelity

By

relationship advice: trust after infidelity
Before you can trust someone after an affair, you first need to take a look at yourself.

3. Start trusting yourself again.

This one is really key! When we find it hard to trust others, it's usually because we don't trust ourselves. The thing is, you are already a wonderful person. You just can't see it because of the negative beliefs you have about yourself and how you interpreted what happened in your ruined relationship.

Not having trust in your own judgment will usually come from thinking that you've been proved wrong many times. However, if you keep distrusting yourself, you'll keep distrusting others, which creates a vicious cycle. Instead, write down a list of at least 30 or 40 good decisions that you have made in the past. This will start making you see that you can trust your own decision-making.

4. Understand that it's not all about you.

Our thinking will drive our behavior, and there's no exception to this truth. It's also thinking that lures certain people to cheat. Now I'm not defending their behavior, nor the hurt that they've caused, but please understand that they did not cheat because of you. They have done so because of their thinking.

When we experience pain, the first thing we ask is, "Why did they hurt me?" You may never know and these sorts of questions will drive you crazy. It's time to let go of the notion that your partner cheated so they could hurt you.

5. Nurture yourself.

It's key to do nice things for yourself, as this will prove to you that you can look after yourself and that you're worth it. This will immediately make you feel better. There's something very powerful about doing something for yourself when you may not feel like it.

Part of building your confidence is to look after yourself, and realize that just because you perceive that someone has done something nasty to you, you will be okay. You can cope on your own.

To find your confidence again and feel like the new you, download your FREE Kindle version of "Goodbye, Mr. Ex" ONLY FROM 05/22/2013 - 05/25/2013.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Marina Pearson

Relationship Coach

Marina Pearson

Goodbye Mr Ex - Express Release and Move On

Want to get over an ex? Does your ex still push those buttons?

Then lets have a chat

That will take you from powerless to powerful and set you free.

Location: Ware, HRT, United Kingdom
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Marina Pearson:

Just Do It: How To Stop Being Afraid Of Breaking Up

By

Are you one of the many people ready to leave a relationship but either afraid of what the future will hold for you if you do leave, or guily over leaving your partner? What would it be like if you could leave without the guilt and fear? How do you think you would feel? Having worked with clients who found themselves in this predicament, I can tell you that ... Read more

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? 5 Ways To Decide To Breakup

By

In my coaching practice, I often come across women who are really confused and stuck as to whether they should stay or go in a relationship. Instead of making a decision, they waiver from wanting to leave,  succumbing to their fear of what would happen if they did leave and finally wanting to avoid the guilt of making the first move. I have been there ... Read more

Single On Valentine's Day And Loathing It? 5 Ways To Get Happy

By

Valentine's day is looming. And for some it's a day full of candles and romanitc cards but for others it can exacerbate the feeling of loneliness and insecurity. This article is for you if you find yourself alone on that day and wishing you weren't, with some reminders for you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In fact, the light is ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB