Before you can trust someone after an affair, you first need to take a look at yourself.
3. Start trusting yourself again.
This one is really key! When we find it hard to trust others, it's usually because we don't trust ourselves. The thing is, you are already a wonderful person. You just can't see it because of the negative beliefs you have about yourself and how you interpreted what happened in your ruined relationship.
Not having trust in your own judgment will usually come from thinking that you've been proved wrong many times. However, if you keep distrusting yourself, you'll keep distrusting others, which creates a vicious cycle. Instead, write down a list of at least 30 or 40 good decisions that you have made in the past. This will start making you see that you can trust your own decision-making.
4. Understand that it's not all about you.
Our thinking will drive our behavior, and there's no exception to this truth. It's also thinking that lures certain people to cheat. Now I'm not defending their behavior, nor the hurt that they've caused, but please understand that they did not cheat because of you. They have done so because of their thinking.
When we experience pain, the first thing we ask is, "Why did they hurt me?" You may never know and these sorts of questions will drive you crazy. It's time to let go of the notion that your partner cheated so they could hurt you.
5. Nurture yourself.
It's key to do nice things for yourself, as this will prove to you that you can look after yourself and that you're worth it. This will immediately make you feel better. There's something very powerful about doing something for yourself when you may not feel like it.
Part of building your confidence is to look after yourself, and realize that just because you perceive that someone has done something nasty to you, you will be okay. You can cope on your own.
To find your confidence again and feel like the new you, download your FREE Kindle version of "Goodbye, Mr. Ex" ONLY FROM 05/22/2013 - 05/25/2013.