3. Blame your partner. Blaming your partner for having an affair is definitely not the best way to go. I did and just as I denied having the affair, it was a reactive behavior towards a highly destructive situation. No one likes to be blamed for anything and if they are, they will get defensive. Your husband isn't to blame. In the end, you had the affair. Instead, apologize and take ownership of your actions.
4. Carry on the affair. This is not something I did, but I have known others who have and if you want to make things better not worse, it's best you don't carry on the affair. It's best that you make a commitment to yourself to stop the affair if you wish to make things work with your partner and have better respect for yourself. I know it seems pretty obvious, but you would be surprised as to how many people don't commit. (To find out what you need to do if he wants a divorce here.)
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5. Drag family and friends into your affair. It's normal to want to tell people close to you as to what is going on, but it's probably not wise. Everyone will have an opinion and probably opinions that you won't like. This can confuse the situation even more and may even make you feel worse. I told my family and they were devastated. In fact they turned their backs on me (with good reason) and my thoughts around my guilt just got worse and worse. Instead, keep things to yourselves and work on the marriage going forward if this is what you wish to do. (To download your free chapters of "Goodbye Mr. Ex" and connect with Marina Pearson, click here.)