Sorry, Men. Using This ONE Word Online Is A Complete Turn OFF

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Guys, you really need to get your head in the game! The first step is to STOP saying this word.

Guys, you are blowing it with the way you're dating women.

Let me paint you a picture: I'm a girl. I am quietly sipping my wine at a local pub. I'm not particularly looking to meet a guy there, but if a good one just happens to come along ... why not?

And there you are. You are wearing a plaid shirt and neatly pressed khakis with iron lines still clearly visible in the front and the back. You waltz over to my side of the bar and looking straight at me declare, "Hi!"

That's it ... just, "Hi."

I think you can guess my next move. I wave you away like an irritating fly and continue working on my wine. You try again, "Hi." I nod and look away. After all, my mother raised me to always be polite and totally ignoring you would be otherwise. However, anything more than a nod may incur further interaction, so I keep my gestures to a minimum, when I hear, "Hi, are you there?"

That's it. I don't care that I only took five sips of my favorite Côtes du Rhône. I am out of there; this is torturous.

Seems far-fetched right? I mean, what guy is so out of touch on how to attract a woman? Who would try to meet a girl at the bar with a monotonous, "Hi"? So why, for the love of anything that's holy, would you do it online?

Come on guys, you can do better. I know you can.

I see some of you at work in bars and lounges; you actually start a conversation. So what makes you think a girl you like on Facebook,, or any other social media site would respond to a lame, "Hi"?

Some of you go further and follow up the "hi" with a very elaborate "how are you?" FYI: that's even more annoying. It is not a conversation we can or will carry, because frankly, it is not a conversation. The online "hi" and "how are you" are online equivalents of ... well, grunts. These are mere sounds signifying nothing. They are not conducive to a conversation, let alone a personal connection.

Check out this example (taken from Facebook) below:

You see what I mean? Could we seem any more repulsed?

Guys, in reality, life online is really simple and there is only one rule: Don't say or show anything online that you would not say or show in person. Simple.

Perhaps your reason behind the simple "hi" is the thought that she will click on your profile and decide if she does or does not like you. If that's the case, it couldn't be further from the truth. Just like in real life, you can look like George Clooney on the approach. But, if on landing, you present a woman with a simple, "Hi," you fail the scale of interest test.

What's the alternative, you ask? After all, online introductions are just that—online and impersonal. It is more difficult to let your exceptional personality shine through, right? Wrong.

Here are a few ways to approach a woman online without the risk of her blocking you, either because she's bored to tears or scared to pieces:

1. Read her profile. What are her interests and hobbies? Start with those. For example: "I see that you belong to a number of reading clubs in Boston. Is there a particular one you can recommend for historical fiction?" That opening not only highlights the fact that you two have something in common, but contains a question that compels her to answer because it is something she's interested in.

2. Is she a traveler? Perfect. Let her know you are, too. Just like in an example above, ask for a recommendation; women love sharing, especially when it's something they love and/or care about. For example: "I see you just came back from Peru. I always wanted to see Machu Picchu. In what town would you recommend I stay for the easiest access to it?"

3. Pets. Let me repeat—pets! Women love their pets. If there is a photo of Muffy in her profile, don't hesitate to include a photo of Fido in your message. For example: "I noticed a photo of your beautiful dog. I just had to share this photo of my furry pal, Fido. He's been my best friend since I rescued him five years ago and I could not picture life without him. I couldn't help notice how much he looks like your Muffy. Was she also a rescue or did you get her from a breeder?" Again, ask a question compelling enough that she actually wants to answer. Side note: discussing their precious pets is always compelling to women.

The truth is, there are as many examples as there are women. To make it work, you just have to work a bit harder to find an opening to each one. Sorry, gentlemen; one "Hi" does not fit all.


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