Your Relationship As The Model For Your Children
By Marie Caterini Choppin. Posted on .
4. Create a "safe haven" - this means that a child learns that it is safe to share his or her attachment needs and fears - that you will not judge or criticize a particular fear (i.e. what if mommy never comes home?) or a particular need (i.e. am I really important to you? Do you really care?) When children can feel free to express themselves and feel secure in their relationship to their parents, they will know what it feels like to have a trusting, caring, supportive relationship.
5. Teach children how to "repair" or make "amends". One of the most curative and restorative aspects in recovering from an argument, disagreement or hurtful situation is to be able to ask for forgiveness, forgive the other person and to restore the relationship to it's secure, comfortable state. Children can learn this in many ways: watching their parents forgive one another and move forward; having a parent initiate forgiveness after a distressful interaction with their child; or helping a child make up with a friend so that the relationship can heal and move forward.
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If we, as parents, can work on our own relationships and role model healthy interactions, connections and expressions of emotions and affection, then we will do our children a great service. As well, we can develop close, loving, caring relationships with our children which can be their template for their future relationships.
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It's a wonderful gift to give our children: the knowledge and security that they matter to us, that we are there for them and that we believe in them.
