5) Do you find yourself wondering if your spouse if having an affair? Anytime someone in a marriage is worried about the other partner having an affair, it's an indication that there is an erosion of trust, connection, and the ability to reach out to your partner about your fears, longings and needs. Pay attention to this feeling and let your spouse know that you feel you need to get help in understanding why there has been such a disconnection and an increase of worries.
Getting help from a trained professional marriage therapist is so important if you find you can't let your partner know about your feelings. A Certified Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist specializes in working on the relationship attachment and helping the couple create a safe haven to begin exploring what has gotten in the way of connecting to the person you married. Most couples find that the reasons they have become disconnected is that there were too many times when one or both needed to reach out to their partner for support, but felt that it was unsafe to do so or when they did, their partner wasn't really there for them. When the couple has gotten into fights or disagreements and there was no repair done to make amends, this aggravate the issue. Remember, you married someone because you felt an intense, strong, attachment and connection, so finding that, again, can save your marriage!