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How to Be Lovers After Being Best Friends


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Love, Self

Truning your "bestie" into a love match

So, your go-to guy, Bob – your bud, your pal, your best guy-friend, the one you’ve shared your sneaky little secrets with, the one who’s schooled you on how to catch guys. Bob – the one with twinkly eyes and curly hair – is really starting to look good to you. Hmmmmm. . .

He’s starting to grow on you in ways you never thought possible. You’ve started thinking maybe Bob is "The One". He’s a great listener, has a great sense of humor, pays attention to what you say, dresses pretty cool, and gets along with your friends. How do we move Bob out of the “Friend” column and into the “Boyfriend” column without appearing like an utter fool if he rejects you? And that’s the show-stopper, isn’t it? Possibly being rejected by a great guy you cherish as a friend because he might not share the same feelings as you? He might not want you like you’re starting to want him. How in the world did this happen? When did you start asking yourself "how can we be lovers"?

How do you get him to notice you as someone more special than the scruffy tomboy he usually sees in jeans and tees; the buddy who’s so comfortable around him that you don’t even bother to wear make-up; the nutball who’s told him tampon and fart jokes? You already know everything about him: what he likes and dislikes; the types of girls he prefers, his favorite sports teams...just as well as he knows everything about you and finds it cute. His dog adores you already; you’ve walked Rover for him a million times over the years. What to do? what to do?

He’s just so darn comfortable, so warm and cozy to be around; he even reads your mind. You’ve fallen like a ton of bricks.

There’s nothing stopping you from proceeding, however, before you open your mouth, before you act on this, weigh the pros and cons, because there’s no rock-hard guarantee he’ll view you as more than a friend. However, you’ll never know if you completely hold back.

Con

You’ll wreck a great friendship if he rejects you; he’ll feel uncomfortable being around you.

Pros

You fit so well together; you don’t have to “figure him out.” He loves the same things you do; better yet, you know exactly what he doesn’t like and how to circumvent any craziness. All that’s left to discover is the romance.

Try these five little steps and watch the fireworks:

Get him to see you as a date, instead of friend:  Move away from the slouchy, rumbled clothes and rev up your attractiveness. Girl-ify yourself! Become your most attractive, seductive, make-up wearing, sexy self. No, do not slather gobs and gobs of mascara all over your face or bathe yourself in perfume and spritz on a ton of hair spray. Be yourself, albeit your most beautiful self.

Tread Lightly:  Move slowly in your new role as Gorgeous-You. He’s accustomed to viewing you in a particular way and having a certain rhythm and steadiness with your friendship. You’ve always been his buddy. An overwhelming avalanche of cuteness might not only distract him but repel him and cause him to back away wondering what on earth has possessed you. Don’t frighten the poor man to death. Sequeing from friend to lover should be taken in tiny steps.

Invite him to more romantic settings:  If most of your time with Bob thus far has been spent at “guy” places, switch it up a little. Take him to a chick-flick where the guy and girl realize their love for one another and the ending explodes with tenderness, or invite him somewhere where couples hang out and have fun. Help him imagine the two of you being together in a more intimate setting. Bring him along as a double-date with another couple.  But!  (Big "but") . . . don't snuggle up under him breathlessly while doing all this.  Bring him to these places, but maintain your casualness.  Once again, tread lightly.

Become more touchy-feeling and flirtatious: Men always respond to touch. Be very observant of his reactions when you lightly touch him or tweek his cheeks. If he likes you in return, he will welcome any touch you bring and will reciprocate with touches of his own. Notice if he smiles invitingly or becomes uncomfortable. If it’s the latter, then stop and revert back to friend-friend, as this is an indication that he’s having a difficult time considering you in your new role as dating material.

Be honest in a round-about way. Tell him you’ve noticed how attractive he is and that other women really appear to be turned on by him.  Say something like:  ”You know what? You’re really cute. I’m just noticing that. Have I been missing something?” (Act surprised) Depending upon his feelings for you, he’ll not only be pleased that you’ve finally noticed, but turned on and look at you in a brand-new light.
If you are asking yourself "how can we be lovers after being best friends", have no fear. You’ve nothing to lose and everything to gain by becoming the love of your best friend’s life.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission from the author.

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