One New Years Eve my cousin and I went to our favorite spot, Tiffany’s, a rather “happening” club in 1980's Washington, DC where we’d always met our share of interesting men and had numerous nights of fun. Our hair was styled perfectly and in an attempt to snag our future husbands (Oh, God, please!), we had blown our paychecks on designer fashions. We were, in essence, two fine, irresistible women.
I will forever recall that night as one of the worst club experiences I’ve ever sat through. No one approached us the entire evening. Between the two of us, we had not one dance, not one complimentary drink, not one anything. Did I mention that in spite of how fine I thought I looked, I also had a fever of 100+ and felt like dog poo, or that my cousin, who’s very fair-skinned, looked like she was turning green around the gills and was coughing every five minutes? We gave it our best shot for a good two hours, then slunk home, defeated.
The age old adage, you’re as beautiful [irresistible, wonderful, whatever] as you think you are, certainly applies here. I looked great on the outside, but felt crummy on the inside. Every fiber of my being was screaming I’m sick as a dog and need to be in bed. In conjunction, my cousin with her coughing fits and runny eyes was manifesting her own deleterious vibes. We received exactly what we put out. We were as irresistible as two dead cats. Since that cringe-inducing experience long ago, I've gone through 8 well-earned lessons that are applicable to any woman seeking to be an irresistible supernova.
Believe it or not, being irresistible has nothing whatsoever to do with looks. Yes, beauty makes men sit up and notice, but being irresistible is so much more than appearance. It starts with knowing your worth as a woman and literally being comfortable with who you are. And women who are comfortable within, project that comfort without. They smile, showing an openness and accessibility, which makes men feel it’s ok to approach them. And, I’ll let you in on a little secret - a lot of men don’t approach women because they think they’ll be turned down. A smiling woman, at peace with herself, is something men find irresistible.
Men find confident women alluring. Women who give off a certain "I really don’t need you, but I’d like to get to know you" air are seductive to men who see these women as challenging. Being overly needy and cloying puts you in dangerous territory. In the back of their minds, men view needy women as potential stalkers, and high maintenance.
A woman with a great sense of humor and a great laugh is not only irresistible to men but women as well. Women with humor have a tendency to put everyone at ease in their presence.