Why Masturbation & Touch During Divorce & Separation is Important


Why Masturbation & Touch During Divorce & Separation is Important
Employing the healing power of touch, masturbation/self-pleasuring during divorce and separation.

First of all, when has this ever been a bad idea? In all seriousness though, it doesn’t seem to matter what night of the week it is, but being newly alone after a separation or divorce is, well…lonely.  Being alone when you have been used to being with your ex or with your ex and the kids as a family is a huge adjustment. You are now alone and isolated probably more of the time than you would like to be.

I am quite an extroverted person and made sure during my separation and divorcing process to check in with lots of good friends, attended exercise classes and went to stores where I knew I would be interacting with people, etc.  But still, I found myself at home, alone, and guess what?  It sucked! It sucked especially more during the later fall and winter.  It was cold and dark out and my apartment was very still and quiet. 


I used to work for a massage school and was familiar with the incredible importance of touch.  So right after my divorce, I shelled out money for awhile to receive massage at least once a month to be sure I was getting that skin to skin contact even if it was through a massage.  And to be clear, when I say skin to skin, I mean the therapists hands on my skin in a totally non-sexual way.

At that time, I was not ready to date other people.  It made me nervous, all of the logistics of not only meeting someone new, but how I would eventually introduce them to my kids, etc.  I was still very deep into the divorce process and dating seemed like an all around bad idea. 

But just because I was alone, didn’t mean I didn’t want to get it on.  Working from home, I could comply with the sexual urges at a variety of times during the day, more so than most.  I would simply allow the desires to self-pleasure to arise.  Maybe my arm crossed my nipple while I was typing, and I began to feel the slightest bit turned on or possibly, I had just had a great work out and the seemingly best way to feel that full and complete body relaxation was to masturbate post workout. Whatever got it going, I usually complied.

I am not a complicated person as far as self-pleasuring goes.  I have a small vibrator, and I don’t need to look at porn or read erotica.  I am pretty quick and to the point.  The only problem for me is that I am very prolific on the female ejaculation front at certain times of the month.  So there is some simple preparation of putting something water proof down. I found the perfect solution to that problem and purchased some flat quilted waterproof crib pads that make clean up a snap.  I keep them in the hall linen closet and when I’m on my way to masturbate, I simply grab one and go to it.

The benefits of self-pleasuring for me have been really awesome and though I have a wonderful new partner on my life’s journey, I still maintain this lovely relationship with myself.  Masturbating allows for an instant overall relaxation of my body and mind.  I can think more clearly and I even feel more confident.

Article contributed by

Margaret Jacobson

Divorce Coach

Margaret Jacobson, radio show host of The Mother Rising on Voice America's Empowerment station, understands the challenges of isolation and deep struggle in all stages of divorce (before, during and after). As a Divorce Wellness coach she helps those going through divorce or separation maintain their health and stay organized so that they can feel in control and find clarity and peace.  She specializes in working with clients dealing with difficult endings.

Laying a foundation  for understanding the landscape of divorce on the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual levels, Margaret speaks on The 9 Things You Can Depend on in Divorce so that you can flow through the process with greater ease.

Making clear choices in the midst of the temporary insanity of divorce can seem like you are swimming upstream but with Margaret's nurturing heart in her weekly group sessions with Clear Choice Divorce, you are expertly guided through 12 weeks of topics allowing you to feel connected with others along this journey and learn the skills it takes to create a strong vessel with great stamina. 

Begin both learning what you can depend on and feeling connected. Sign up today. 

Honor yourself. Celebrate yourstrength. Empower your transformation. 


Location: Tiburon, CA
Credentials: BA, MA
Specialties: Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Spiritual, Wellness
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