Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Why Do You Push Away Love?

Why Do You Push Away Love?

Are you lacking love in your life? Perhaps you are subconsciously pushing it away.

They say that when you are truly ready for love, it will come your way.  I happen to believe that this is true.  No…I take that back…I KNOW that this is true.  The Law of Attraction states that “like must always attract like.”  If you want love, but are not finding it, then the question is Why?  What is holding you back from attracting that love into your life?  This is, of course, a very deep question, and one that takes a fair amount of soul searching to discover the answer to.  But by diving deep into yourself and recognize that part of you that is repelling love, you can then work to remove that obstacle and open yourself up to receiving the love that you desire and long for.

More often than not, the reason why you are not finding love is because you don’t really want it.  WHOA!  This may be a shock, but stop for a second and think about it.  If it’s true that love will find you when you are ready and open to receiving it, then by not finding love, you are not ready and open to receiving it.  You are pushing it away because you are not ready and open.  So when something happens that invites love into your life, you subconsciously push it away.

Now, what is the number one reason why people push things away?  Fear.  Fear of being vulnerable…of being intimate…of disappointment…of…of…of…  We are hard wired to instinctively avoid the things we fear.  And so, if we fear love, then we avoid it at all costs.  We work hard to ensure that we don’t put ourselves in a situation where that fear can overtake us.  We kill the spider in the corner because we can’t cope with living in the fear of it.

So if you find yourself pushing away love, ask yourself what you are afraid of?  Then face that fear!  It’s not always easy, but by facing the fear and neutralizing it, you will finally open yourself up to the love you really want.

This article was originally published at Gay Love Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.


Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.