Gay love will come when you relax and simply allow it.
I know that you really want a relationship, and you feel like you're spinning your wheels trying to find gay love. You're constantly putting yourself out there, meeting new boys online and in person, going on dates, following up, and generally doing everything you're "supposed" to be doing to find love. But for some reason the connection is just not happening; you're just not feeling it with anyone.
In fact, the harder you try, the further away a relationship seems. You're getting frustrated and maybe even panicking a bit and thinking, "Is there anyone out there for me?" "Am I going to be stuck at home alone watching reruns of RuPaul's Drag Race with my cat every Saturday night from here to the end of eternity?" Tragic.
Don't panic, and dial down the frustration. Chances are you've heard this saying before: "You'll find love the moment you stop looking for it." For those of us who believe that dating is a numbers game (the more boys you meet and date, the closer you are to finding a relationship), this seems quite contradictory. But it's true!
So often we feel that we need to "get" the things we want. Someone else is in possession of the thing we want, and we must convince them that we are worthy of receiving this thing from them. So we work hard to prove our worthiness, and hope and pray that they eventually agree and hand it over.
We do this with our jobs—convincing the manager that we are more worthy of the position than the other candidate. We do this with our sex—convincing the boy across from us that we are the hottest guy in the bar and that he should give his body to us. We do this with our friends and family—convincing them that they should give us their attention and loyalty. And we do this with our intimate relationships—spending time and effort convincing someone that we are worthy of their love.
But you don't need to convince anyone that you are worthy of their love. Because you already are! You are a unique person that brings an energy into this world that is different from anyone else. When you relax into your own being, you no longer need to work hard to "get" a relationship.
You simply be who you are and realize that you are already a whole, perfect and complete person with or without a boyfriend. So, stop looking for the relationship because you don't need it. Your capacity to hold strength and love increases tremendously as you learn to nurture your self. And ironically, this is precisely when you have the ability to accept another person into your life. And it comes to you.
So, chill out, and don't work so hard. The truth is that you don't go out and "get" a relationship; you attract a relationship and it comes to you. Your job is to know, understand, and feel your own worth. Then relax and allow the Law of Attraction to bring the love to you.
This article was originally published at Gay Love Project. Reprinted with permission.