According to the Huffington Post, Kim Kardashian's doctor has warned her that the stress from her divorce could have long-term effects on her unborn child. That shouldn't come as a surprise, given that both divorce and pregnancy are among life's ten most stressful events. Experiencing the two events at the same time renders it even more important to have strategies for managing that stress.
1. Get a support team. This could be three or four of your closest friends in whom you can confide and trust. They are the people you can call to vent when your attorneys or your soon-to-be-ex's attorneys are driving you mad. Call up your girls when your ex is being a jerk or when you just need to talk through an issue.
2. Count to ten before you react. Avoid reacting immediately to anything your ex does or says. If you get a message from your ex, make a conscious decision about reading or listening to it. If you are already preoccupied with something else, wait until later to check out his message.
Once you've read or listened to the message, discipline yourself not to react immediately. Take the approach of, "That’s interesting, I'll have to give it some thought." And then do just that but don't become absorbed by the message.
Respond to the message only once you can do so calmly and objectively. Not only does this help to de-escalate a situation but it also tells your ex that you will not be ruffled.
3. Pick your battles. This standard parenting advice applies just as well to divorce situations. It's often cited as a negotiation tactic but it is also a very valuable tool for managing your own stress levels during the divorce process.
If your ex doesn't respond immediately to your message or always lets your calls go to voicemail, so what? Don't fall into the trap of making assumptions about his behavior. If your ex is 15 minutes late dropping the kids off, does it really matter in the big picture? If you both want the rug from the living room, is there something else you could ask for in exchange for forgoing the rug? Keep reading ...
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