50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

Is Something Stopping You From Having Great Sex?


Is Something Stopping You From Having Great Sex?
Sarita gives the low down on the common sexual difficulties women face and how to resolve them.

Many women think they have sexual dysfunction when actually there is nothing wrong with them. They may have high expectations of how a woman should be during sex, which may have come from highly unrealistic literature or from the erroneous theory of vaginal versus clitoral orgasm (for more on this see Sarita's article on Great Sex for Women).

If a woman is able to orgasm while self-pleasuring there is nothing wrong with her. All the joys of sex can emerge for her, if her feminine nature is allowed to flower.

More from YourTango: Jealousy - How to understand it and let it go

There are four common possibilities for female sexual dysfunction:

  • Inability to reach orgasm (even while self-pleasuring)
  • Inability to orgasm while making love with a man
  • Non-arousal
  • Inability to tolerate penetration to the extent that the vagina is completely contracted, so that even insertion of a finger causes intense pain. This condition is called vaginismus.

Inability to orgasm (at all or with a man) is usually rooted in psychological wounding or sexual abuse. It can also be because the women is contracted somewhere in her energy system and needs to open up to allow more life into a particular place (her belly or heart for example). Psychotherapy that allows and facilitates emotional release, hypnosis and holistic healing methods such as Colour Light Therapy and Cranio Sacral Therapy can help dramatically with these issues. You could also try any active meditation (such as Osho Dynamic or Kundalini) or movement meditations such as 5 Rhythms dancing or Shamanic Trancedance.

More from YourTango: Can Tantra Improve Your Sex Life?

Non arousal may be due to poor health, oral contraceptives (which can lower libido) or changes due to ageing. Natural herbal remedies to balance the hormonal system should bring positive results.

Vaginimus may be helped by sex therapy with a partner. First you need to allow your whole body to become more sensitive, by receiving gentle massage or caressing. With the support of a sex therapist, you can follow this slowly, one step at a time introducing a little finger into the opening, gradually increasing the depth of insertion, then a large finger and finally the penis. This process may take weeks, so lots of patience and love is needed.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.


Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

happy couple older

Just Say No: The 4 Types of People You Shouldn't Date

You can avoid bad relationships simply by avoiding certain types of people.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no timeā€¦

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>