There are four ways we communicate with other people. Only one is healthy. Which one are you?
The basic types of communication are:
Did you know we communicate both verbally and nonverbally? Nonverbals include body language, eye contact, presentation (clothing, cleanliness, etc.).
Which type of communicator are you?
If you're assertive, then you are tactful when getting your point across, you stay true to yourself, and everyone views the situation as win-win.
If you're passive, then you go with the flow, never speaking up for how you really feel or what you really believe. You worry that to say something contrary may make someone else feel bad or change someone's opinion of you.
If you're aggressive, then you speak your mind, step on toes, always think you're right, and may have problems listening to another person's point of view. You may often be upset, and are not afraid to show your anger, because your way is the only way.
And, if you're passive-aggressive, then sometimes you hold your tongue, and sometimes you spit out how you're feeling. You may worry about what other people think of you, but when something is close to your heart you will voice your opinion regardless of someone else's feelings. It feels like you have buttons--hot or cold.
Do you like the way you communicate with others? If you don't, then the good news is you can change. Acknowledgement is half the battle. Just by identifying what type of communicator you are and having that desire to change to something better...you're on your way to better relationships.
Learning how to become more assertive is easy.
The hard part is when you are implementing the new behaviors, that your thoughts and feelings change too.
Being congruent in your thoughts, feelings, and actions means that as you change, you are also addressing your values of self worth too.
If you're wondering how to do make these lasting changes, then this is when getting outside help to teach you the skills and keep you accountable is helpful to get you out of your current rut.