This article explores why we are afraid of commitment--especially when it involves relationships.
We are often scared to change. Even when we're up against the wall, and our relationships are flailing, commiting to learning something new is scary, because we don't know if it will work or make things better.
Are you at the point yet, where you've decided to do things differently, because you want healthier relationships?
Doing the same thing over and over again leads to two things:
- Repeating the same mistakes.
- Getting (and staying) stuck.
Even though we read and hear from many people how to make our relationships better, it often takes experiencing a bad relationship (or many), before we decide what we are doing isn't working, and we need to learn something new.
Many of us like to learn from experience, before we decide in order to get more of what we want, instead of more of the same, that we're going to have do something differently so we don't experience more of the same: flailing or failure.
Sometimes we think and even try (unsuccessful attempt after another) to change the other person in our relationship. Are you at that aha moment of realizing that the only common denominator in your relationships is: you?
Therefore, the only thing you do have control over changing is (gasp): yourself?
However, this is wonderful, life-changing, news. You have the ability to choose how you think, feel, and act in any given situation, and with any relationship. Even if it is with yourself.
More importantly, if it is with yourself. When you make a commitment to yourself, do you stick with it? Or have you found in the past that you are easily swayed by how others think or what others tell you to do instead.
You don't need deep therapy to make improvements in your life or in your relationships. What we do need are more skills.
Learning how to:
- communicate assertively (Rather than passively, aggressively, or passive-aggressively)
- set goals
- follow-through on goals
- manage time
- prioritize tasks
- understand the opposite sex
- use male language
- use female language
- parent positively
- manage anger
- resolve conflicts
- manage finances
- work with our family dynamics
The best way to commit to yourself in achieving your goals--whether they are personal or professional for your relationships is by hiring a coach. As a Mars Venus Coach I help clients stay cognizant of the relationship dynamics between men and women, while also giving you new ways to understand and think about each other so everyone is respected and appreciated in your relationships. (Most importantly--listening to your inner voice and intuition).
We create 90-Day Action Plans together that take your dreams of the relationships (with yourself and with the special people in your life), and make them a reality. We do this by identifying your vision, and then creating SMART goals. Goals that are:
We create a plan for things you can do on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis to achieve your goals. I provide you accountability and feedback, as well as teach you new skills, and help you trouble-shoot so you stay commited to achieving success in your relationships. Once you begin this amazing journey--you won't want to stop!
Blessings to you and happy travels in your journey. I'm here if you'd like the encouragement to learn new ways to experience unconditional love.