Goldilocks and the 3 Condoms


Goldilocks and the 3 Condoms
Lucky Bloke offers a fun and frisky update to the classic tale, where size really does still matter!

“Oh, great!  Is that I love that site! They have the best selection of premium condoms from around the world, and you don’t have to go through buying a big box of condoms at the store! My best friend, Marjorie, did that once...and her ex-boyfriend got in line behind her. Awkward!”

“So, which ones are you looking at?” Goldilocks asked him.


“Well, I actually just started looking through the condoms that are available in my size.”

“Oh cool. Do you already know what size you are?” Goldilocks asked.

That is when Goldie-Beard realized he didn’t know. He was just guessing his size based on what he thought of himself. What if the size he picked didn’t actually fit him? 

Goldilocks saw that he looked confused. “Oh, that’s no problem. We can double-check. Click HERE! See, Lucky Bloke has a fun and clever way for you to find out the size condom you will need!"

"It’s based on how long your penis is when erect, but also (more importantly) what your girth is. We’ll want to find ones that are just a little bit longer than you are, so there’s space in the end for when you come,” Goldilocks said.

“How do you know about all of this?” Goldie-Beard asked.

“I’ve been so excited about going to the next level with you, I’ve been on almost every day for the past couple of weeks. You would not believe how many great options they have!” Goldilocks laughed.

“Well, all right, then!” Goldie-Beard laughed with her. The two of them checked the size condoms they would need and spent the afternoon browsing through  (If you're curious, they opted for the Ultimate Condom Sampler! With plenty of variety, they were sure to find the condom just right...for them!)

Once they made their selection, they placed their order, and were thrilled to see that they only had to pay $2.50 no matter where they lived. (Japan, Canada, the US? All shipping was merely $2.50! Amazing!) They could even get a monthly condom subscription to make certain they were never without condoms when they wanted one!

Just a few days later, their condoms arrived in a very discreet package...

And they played and explored...Happily ever after...

All humor aside, do you know what condom size you really need? Did you know it’s not just based on penis length? Often girth is the most important factor in selecting the proper size! And it's important to note, that the size condom you need can vary between brands! Just like you can wear a size 8 in one shoe and a size 9 in another, your condom size needs could vary.  Once you have the right size condom you will maximize both safety and pleasure!

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

LUCKY BLOKE: Global Condom Experts

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Lucky Bloke:
Whatever Your Adventure – We’ve Got You Covered!

Location: ASHLAND, OR
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