Don't be fooled, ladies. Condoms are sexy.
It doesn't matter how charming he is, and it doesn't matter how sexy he is; your health is still the number one priority. If you're prepared when he bats his eyelashes and runs his very sexy hand up your thigh, you'll stay in control of both your safety and your pleasure.
Here are the top five excuses men use to attempt to wiggle out of wearing a condom and the responses you need to stay safe.
1. "It's not responsibility to provide birth control."
Sadly, this isn't a new argument. Ancient Egyptian, Greek and Roman cultures all thought the same thing, and that is why you won’t see many references to condoms in their ancient literature. In fact, the only references to "male birth control" you may find in their writings refer only to "coitus interruptus" (that's the "pull-out" method, by the way) and anal sex.
Why it's bull: First of all ladies, we all have some responsibility in keeping ourselves safe. It's crap when a guy tells us it's all our responsibility to make sure we have adequate birth control, and it's equally crap for us to tell them it's all their responsibility.
The best case scenario is for all of us to do our part and make sure we have protection for ourselves. It takes two people to make a baby and (at least) two people to spread a STI or HIV. It's neither all his responsibility nor all yours.
2. "They don't make condoms that fit me."
We've all heard this one. Either the guy claims he's so big that there are no condoms available to fit him or he worries that he's too small (usually he means too narrow) for a condom to stay on. What nearly every guy knows, but a lot of ladies don't always realize, is that the difference in men's sizes is in their girth, rather than their length, and that girth needs to be carefully considered when choosing a condom size.
Why it's bull: There's a deluge of condoms on the market today, all in a variety of smells, tastes, materials, and yes, sizes. There are condoms that are as small as 1.25" in diameter and ones as large as 2.3" in diameter. You would be hard-pressed to find a sexually active man who didn't fall in that range.
3. "Sex feels so much better without a condom."
Perhaps this is a genuine interest in you both feeling good, or it could be a load of crap to get out of wearing a condom. Regardless, how do you think a case of syphilis or gonorrhea feels? How about dealing with herpes flare-ups for the rest of your life?
Why it's bull: Condoms have come so far that in a lot of ways sex can actually be enhanced when wearing a condom. Most importantly, you can feel safe knowing that you've greatly reduced your risk of catching an STI or getting pregnant when you aren't ready to.
Think of a condom as a sex accessory. A well-fitting condom can make him feel bigger (like when a shirt is tailored so the girls look like they're a few sizes bigger than they are), and many now have shapes and textures that can give you quite the thrill, as well as lubes that will increase sensation for both of you.
4. "Condoms smell and taste gross. That's a serious turn-off."
This is antiquated information and should be discarded as readily as, "You only need a nickel to make a call at the pay phone."
Why it's bull: That awful latex-y smell that reminds us of the dentist's office was a huge complaint for countless people for a long time. Do you think the condom industry just ignored your cries? Hardly! GLYDE developed lines of condoms that have great tastes and smells specifically to address that issue.
5. "I've been tested. You should just trust me."
Beware, this tops the list! And, sadly, it's probably the most common "excuse" of them all. It puts you in a no-win situation.
Why it's bull: You know what? Using a condom shows that you both care about yourselves and each other. Having sex without wearing a condom isn't an act that builds trust; it's an act that can occur as a result of already-built trust.
Knowing that your partner will be there for you if sex results in a pregnancy, and knowing that your partner isn't exposing you to a sexually transmitted infection are what enables you to trust them with the act of bare-back sex. See how that works? Trust is earned.
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