Even in the best marriages, there are still things left unsaid.
Even in the best marital relationships, there are things left unsaid. Our interviews with couples in 53 countries on all 7 continents, revealed ten important things that wives don't share with their husbands on a regular basis, but they should.
Here are the 10 things your wife might not be telling you:
1. There are times when I want my husband's undivided attention — no TV, no iPhone, no computer — nothing but me!
2. It is important to me that my husband help with daily tasks like doing the dishes, cleaning the laundry, setting the dinner table, changing a diaper, helping clean the house. I want my husband to help me out, even if he works outside the home and more importantly, if we both do.
3. I want my husband to communicate with me openly and honestly, even if it means his telling me things I don't want to hear!
4. Sometimes I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, inadequate, sick, hurting, and in need of a break from all things household-focused. Too often when he asks me how I'm doing, I tell him, "I'm fine" even when I am not! I wish I could tell him more often how I really feel.
5. I wish my husband would hug me, caress me, touch me often, and be more intimate with me. I need his frequent acknowledgement of my presence and my importance to him.
6. I wish my husband would text me, email me, leave sticky love notes for me, write me poetry or love letters — any positive way to make me feel valued, loved, and respected. I want to feel like I am his priority!
7. My husband needs to listen more to me when I express my feelings, my desires, my uncertainties, and my fears. I need a space where I can be imperfect, a place where I can express my feelings without filtering. I need permission to be imperfect.
8. Sometimes our marriage is all work and no play. I want to tell my husband to be more fun, not monotonous, and to be more exciting. Occasionally upending expectancies in our relationship would be a good thing. Doing something exciting from time to time would help our marriage move "beyond boring."
9. I want my husband to recognize me for what I do. I don't want to be taken for granted and my efforts to go unnoticed. He needs to express his gratitude of me more often for the many contributions I make to the family.
10. I want my husband to listen to my problems, not try to solve them for me. I need a good ear, a sounding board, and the like, but I do not need or want for him to tell me what I should think or do!
Gentleman, if you haven't had an honest discussion with your wife about these issues, you need to make a commitment to begin that conversation today. If your wife has a tendency to keep issues to herself instead of sharing, it can lead to dissatisfaction with your relationship.
Ladies, if there are things on this list that you are talking about with your husband, don't be silent anymore. The better he understands what you need, the better your chance of being satisfied. Don't be guilty of not telling your husband what he needs to hear from you!
For more tips to enhance your relationship get the best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.