There is no denying that it takes a substantial blast of mojo to walk up to a complete stranger and introduce yourself. Fear of rejection is a definitely a mindset that will debilitate even the heartiest of seasoned singles. However, having stated the obvious, at the end of the day what have you really got to lose? I believe that anyone can develop the right mindset to approach attractive strangers. Someone very wise once told me "What other people think of you is non of your business!" It has taken me years to wrap my head around that one but wow a free feeling to reach that place inside yourself. Look at it this way - would you rather spend hours of wasted time fantasizing about someone who doesn't even know you exist? If you are relationship ready and the idea of screaming over a band you have no interest in while trying to connect with someone you would really like to examine in broad daylight doesn't appeal to your sensibilities... here are some refreshing alternatives for meeting interesting like minded hotties. Remember if you are lucky enough to stumble across a live one, all it takes is the right attitude and a little strategy (ie fear it and do it anyway!) 1. Mate of a mate Believe it or not this is how most couple meet - through mutual acquaintances. Friends and family are an incredibly valuable resource for introducing you to eligible mates. Relax I am not promoting blind dates or arranged marriages! What I am saying is that you would be pleasantly surprised by what handsome strangers get dug out of the wood work if you simply ask your loved ones if they know of anyone who might be a good catch. For some unknown reason, everyone has a bit of the old match maker archetype dwelling within. Maybe its because everyone loves a love story who knows? All I can say is let go of any preconceived notions of disastrous set ups and start to harness this valuable resource. Another approach is to do some homework on your own. If you happen to stumble across someone that makes your heart strings hum, ask your friends if they know this person or if their friends do. At the end of the day it is incredible how small the world really is. You are bound to come across a mutual acquaintance that would be more than happy to host a dinner party or casual afternoon amongst friends where the two of you can meet. Even if your heart throb does suspect something more than a chance meeting at play, how could they take it any other way than as a huge compliment. If they do - well red card em! 2. Continuing Education Classes I know it is tempting to sit at home and google everything you need to know about anything but seriously, whats more fun and much better for meeting new people, surfing the net or taking a night course? Grab a copy of your local Continuing Ed calendar and register yourself in any course that interests you. Bearing in mind that if you choose a course that tends to be gender specific you might be disappointed if your dream man opted out of "Needle point 101" this term or your dream girl won't be attending "Boat engine repairs made easy." Having said that, in these changing times, there is a huge shift towards role reversal or at least necessity for the sexes to learn skills that may have been considered gender inappropriate years ago. So don't be surprised if you meet a honey of a man in your Thai cooking class or your auto mechanics class just got a whole lot more interesting than the pin ups on the wall. Most importantly take something that will expand you as a person and that you are passionate about. Classroom environments are flirt centrals. Use your breaks and after class time to strike up conversation about what going on in class, people are always charmed to be able to have a say about what they think about a particular subject. 3. Benefit Dinner or Fundraiser Well one thing is for certain - there is no shortage of these types of events! Choose a cause that you feel strongly about and make a donation towards improving the world. The beauty of this strategy is that you already know that the souls you are going to meet at a fundraiser are people who like to give back to society and believe in the same causes as you do - common ground right off the bat! If your budget permits why not attend a black and white event - what can be more romantic than seeing potential mates dressed to the nines! Silent auctions and other fund raising activities are great opportunities to crack jokes or show enthusiasm. Make sure you hang around for happy hr after the main event to be able to share your thoughts with like minded others. If you are on a tighter budget or no budget at all for extra curricular activities become a volunteer and help raise funds for your chosen cause. Door knockers or canvassers are always help in high regard if there for good reason. What a fantastic excuse for saying hello to complete strangers remember a smile goes for miles! 4. Pet Parade Thanks to the sad fact that local councils are making the pet friendly areas in our cities and towns smaller and smaller - the concentration of dog walkers in pet friendly zones has intensified. For the pet loving single this means the chances of meeting a fellow pet lover on your daily jaunt with Fifi just that much more likely. If you haven't got a pooch of your own - borrow a friend's or a family member's and join the fun. Dog owners, like their dogs come in all shapes and sizes and the one commonality they all share is they love to talk about their furry friends. Obviously, if you sense that their pet love has reached a point where you are thinking they need to attend your Co dependents Anonymous class you might want to keep walking but all in all the pet parade can be heaps of fun as long as your dog knows how to play nicely. If manners is what your beast is lacking you can still meet a potential mate at your local dog obedience class. 5. Weddings , Christenings and dare I say Funerals? If you can get past the fact that you have to attend yet another event that highlights everything you are missing in your life ( like a life partner or a baby hopefully not death!) Life celebrations are right up there in the list of places to meet your match. If the bride has her act together she will be sure to seat you at a table with other singles (preferably not the children) If the action isn't happening at your table, be sure to take a wander to other tables and say hello or make your way to the dance floor and dance like no one is watching ( however,save what you learned in your pole dancing class for another day.) Even though it might be tempting to get completely trashed at such an event - in word - DON'T. You are doing yourself absolutely no justice by getting loaded and acting like a tragic character out of "The Wedding Singer" Instead enjoy the natural rush of celebrating love, new life or even a great life passing. Your natural sparkle will be more than enough to attract potential suitors to you. 6. Home Depot and hardware stores Believe it or not these chains stores are prime hunting grounds and definitely deserve a mention. Throw away your preconceptions that every man in a hardware store is married and every woman found there is crazed feminist who will tear a strip off you for holding open the door. Lets face it - economic hardship and the knowledge that fixing up and maintaining your home can be an extremely profitable activity. I don't know about you but a man in work boots is right up there on my list of sexy and a woman who can fix her own faucet is bound to impress. There is no harm in asking someones opinion on things or asking advice especially because you practically need a GPS system to find service rep in these big box stores. If you are wondering if they are single - look for a ring or indirectly ask in conversation (ie what color would your partner choose?) Check out line ups are exactly that places to check people out! 7. Extreme Adventures and Group Excursions Nothing brings people closer than the fear of death. If you want to get to know someone in a hurry sit on a plane with them before they take their first skydive, climb with them to the top of a bungee jump, or sit on a bus with them before a river rafting adventure. No doubt all will be revealed! If adrenaline isn't your drug of choice, take it down a notch and consider a hiking, birdwatching, whale watching excursion. Still heaps of time to make friends and be an encouragable flirt. Garden tours, theme cruises, travel adventure the list goes on and on. Whatever, you are interested in there are always others who will pay to join a like minded group and avoid having to go it alone. Nowadays many of these excursion groups advertise as singles activities, so you don't even have to worry if you will be the only single in a sea of couples. If group activities don't really cut if for you - fly solo on your next great adventure you never know who you will meet in your travels. The important lesson is don't wait for your life partner to start living today. 8. The Office A certain amount of decorum is necessary for pulling of the office hook up. The last thing you want is to be chasing your employer's secret lover or dealing with a sexual harassment officer! You will know beyond a shadow of a doubt if someone is interested in you at work. They will find every reason to be near you, wind up at the photocopier at the same time, bring you coffee, invite you for after work drinks etc. If you like them no doubt you will be doing exactly the same things. The good thing about the office is that you can rest assured you will get to run into your crush day after day so no need to rush things. Take note of how they treat their colleagues, keep their desk and deal with crisis you can tell a lot about how they will behave in a relationship by how they behave at work. Remember to read your signals carefully as the last thing you want is to feel uncomfortable around a fellow colleague who clearly has no personal interest in you http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifie (don't send them 24 red roses and watch for their reaction as they open the card) 9. The Supermarket One of my personal favorites - at the end of the day everyone has to eat. However, not everyone cooks. You can tell a great deal about someone by what they have in their shopping trolleys. It is really a mini bio on wheels. Make a point of saying hello and striking up a conversation with at least five new people every time you go shopping. With practice it will become second nature to make conversation over how to tell if a rock melon is ripe or what cut of beef is best for grilling on the barbecue etc. Then when you really do come across someone who takes your breath away and doesn't have a shopping trolley that spells married, you can rest assured that all your practice will pay off and conversation will flow. Shopping can be fun, make sure you look presentable ( ie change out of your pajama bottoms and wear a fresh T shirt) and bear in mind late night grocery shoppers are more often than not single as they are not at home with their families and they are wandering around with a sort of uhhh single look about them. 10. The Laundry Mat Ok please bear with me on this one. I know its hard to imagine in some communities that a laundry mat would be a desirably place to meet anyone but keep in mind a lot of very cool inner city dwellers live in older apartments without room for their own washing machines and dryers. Think New York and that sexy commercial where the guy takes off his levis right in the laundry mat. If you live in an apartment which has laundry facilities on each floor or in the basement this is definitely dates in the making material. What better way to meet someone you like in your building plus you can check out their taste in underwear at the same time! So many ways to make a nice gesture to someone you think is hot in a laundry mat. You can help them make change, lend them some soap powder, tell them how to get a stain out, switch over their machines, grab them a coffee when you get yourself one - list goes on and on. 11. The Book Store Is this not what great romance movies are made of. Classic meetings in book stores talking through the stacks. Well apart from the fact that no one appreciates people that try to talk to them when they are reading books they don't own and have no intention of buying - book stores are great places to meet like minded folk. If you hang out in your favorite section (try to venture out of the self help department folks) you can almost rest assured that you will meet someone interesting. Ironically, people still buy good books and read them. Amazon.com has definitely taken away a bit of business from the good old book store but for true literary die hards nothing beats the smell of books in the morning... 12. Airports and Transit Stations Airports bring people together in more ways then one. Long delays, line ups and cancellations occur on a regular basis - how convenient for meeting sexy singles. When you have hours to kill and not much to do except buy things your don't need at duty free or expensive mediocre meals that always leave you wanting more, you would be amazed at how easy it is to strike up a conversation with the spartan lad in the seat across from you. Content is key - complaining about delays and poor airline service is tedious at best. Why not help both of you take your mind of the long wait by speaking about something your are passionate about! If you have a soft spot for adventurous, spontaneous, fun loving sorts this is undoubtedly the place to be! So there you have some prime locations for some serious hunting. Please remember that your dating success still rests largely on you. Being relationship ready is paramount and the best way to do this is take the time to work on yourself before you head out into the wilds. This means that you've done the work necessary to have a stable and balanced lifestyle, have a strong sense of self-esteem and confidence, have put closure to unfinished business from the past, and have a clear vision of who you are, what you want, and what you stand for (both as an individual and as a life partner). This is your foundation for your negotiable and non-negotiable needs and wants as you date. If you are uncertain that you are able to successful do this type of work on your own, working with a professional dating coach like myself is the best way to prepare yourself for attracting your ideal mate. Happy Hunting!
