ProConnect

The 14 Dating Traps and What you Can Do To Avoid Them

By

The inertia in this trap is pressure to make the relationship work,attempt to solve unsolvable problems, and fit the round peg in the square hole because breaking up and being single again is an undesired outcome.

7. Attraction Trap

Making relationship choices based on feelings of attraction. Interpreting a strong
attraction to someone as a sign that the relationship is a good choice and "meant to
be". This approach results in relationship failure when unsolvable problems surface
because you ignored the red flags while infatuated. Unconscious choices usually result in repeating unproductive past patterns. Attraction is like the radar that helps you find your target. But the Attraction Trap is blindly following this radar.

8. Love Trap

Interpreting infatuation, attraction, need, good sex, and/or attachment as Love. "If
it feels good, it must be Love." "Love is all you need." "Love conquers all." You feel so in love that you believe it must be a good relationship. After the initial infatuation is gone; you spend the rest of your time together just trying to get it back.

9. Sex Trap

Focusing on the chemistry under the covers by interpreting sex as love, using sex as a kind of "compatibility test" (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well), or becoming emotionally attached and considering yourself in a kind of
committed relationship as soon as you have sex.

10. Rescue Trap

Hoping a relationship will solve your emotional and financial difficulties and bring you happiness and fulfillment, something like winning the lottery. You avoid taking
responsibility for your life challenges, expecting to be rescued from them. Results in desperation, neediness, and relationship failure when your problems multiply instead of disappear.

11. Co-dependent Trap

You expect someone to love you and give you what you want by giving the other person
what he/she wants. You attempt to earn love and happiness by acquiescing, giving and
helping. You really want to be in a relationship. You feel that you are not worthy as you are, and need to earn love. You pursue relationships hard because you feel incomplete when you're not in one. You want to be the hero and therefore seek someone who wants to be helped. But you learn the hard way that although it feels good to be needed, someone who needs you is not necessarily able to give you what you need. Needing to be needed often results in unconsciously attracting and choosing a relationship with a person who needs you, but - as you later discover - is unable to give you what you want.

12. Entitlement Trap

Believing you deserve to be happy and get what you want in your life without effort or changes on your part. Results in relationship failure as you rely on your partner to bring happiness and fulfillment and inevitably experience disappointment. "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got."

13. Virtual Reality Trap

Believing that "what you see is what you get." Making hasty long-term relationship
decisions based on short-term impressions and inferences instead of actual experience and knowledge. Getting involved in a relationship focusing on "potential,"
hoping that some things that you really need to happen will get better or change over
time. Results in seeing what you want to see, and relationship failure when later
reality doesn't match.

14.

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Recent Expert Posts
Dating Tips: 10 Signs Your Guy Has Fallen For You

10 Signs Your Guy Is Falling In Love With You

Does that new hunky guy you've been dating see you in his future? Here are 10 ways he'll show you.

Relationship Advice For Women: 5 Things That Turn Men Off

How To Lose A Guy In Ten Minutes: 5 Major Turn-Offs

If you want to impress a new guy, avoid these major turn-offs.

Sex Education: How Sex Ed Will Lower Birth Rates

Sex Education In South Carolina: How It Changed Their City

It's important that you're honest with your children.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS