Need to find a way to tell your lover how you feel and what you need? Here are 5 tips to help you!
Do men you are dating ever make you feel like you are nagging or being confrontational? Do you feel like communicating your feelings is a struggle and don’t know how?
Here are 5 simple tips that will help you share your deepest secrets with any guy and not feel silly or stupid for doing so:
1. Choose a guy who allows you to be you.
If we are looking for a relationship that fulfills us and makes us feel good, it’s important that we choose a partner who has the qualities that allow us to open up and express what we want to share. So picking a man who is a good listener, who makes you feel comfortable about yourself, who will be a lot better to talk to than a man who is cold and distant.
2. Ask for what you want.
As your relationship evolves it is important that you and him can talk to each other about what you want. The mistake most women make is thinking that a guy is just going to figure it out or know what you are thinking. Despite popular belief men need to be guided, not told or left to guess what it is. He needs to know what you enjoy, what makes you feel loved, what your vision is for the relationship and your future together. Wanting a guy to marry you when his intentions are totally different is not going to get you any closer to what you want. So it is important as your relationship evolves to get good at asking for what you want.
3. Create a safe environment.
When you have something important to share, it’s important to share both your feelings and what you both want. You will find more times than not, sharing your true self will actually bring you both closer together than further apart. It is important no matter what his reply is, you offer him a safe space to speak his truth.
A really great example of this is: you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend, he’s not ready for a relationship right now and he just wants to have sex, so you don’t ask and go along with an uncommitted relationship. It is better to offer a safe place for him to express what he wants and you what you want. Once you have the information then it is up to you consider what is best for you. You need to be okay with the answer whatever it is.
The right guy will be impressed and say yes, of course bringing your relationships closer together. The wrong guy disappears; thank him, now you can go get what you want with a guy that will commit to you. Never be afraid of asking for what you want but you must create a safe place to do so.
4. Be vulnerable.
No matter how scary it is, share your deepest scariest thoughts. This is usually a women’s biggest fear, but when you are in the right relationship, this tends to bring you closer together instead of further apart. The right guy will step up. The wrong guy disappears. Be OK with it.
5. Be open.
When you are open, you allow him to share his deepest fears and worries. This kind of open communication will strengthen your relationship with him. Never be afraid to go deep; what breaks most relationship or prevents your dating from being successful is your lack of asking for what you want. So don’t ever be afraid to share your true self with him. The great guy will love you more for it.
Feeling like you’re nagging or being confrontational comes from asking him for something you wanted that he couldn’t provide you with at the time. He did not or could not meet your needs, wants, and desires, leaving you feeling out in the cold and unloved. When you can confidently share your feelings or what you are thinking this won’t be a problem, because you have power when you know the answer to do what is right by both of you.
Nagging and confrontation only happens when someone's needs are not getting met. Make sure when you communicate your feeling or what you’re thinking that you both are on the same page. The disconnect comes when two people want different things and one of you has overlooked this desire and have failed to resolve the problem along the way, escalating discontent.
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