How to Handle Pre First Date Texting


How to Handle Pre First Date Texting
It isn't unusual nowadays for guys and girls to start texting each other before their first date.

Once phone numbers are exchanged, this is often the way a relationship is initiated. If, however, you are unprepared to handle this subtle but obvious transition from strangers to text-mates, these tips might be really useful to you.

Know whether you’re Comfortable with Pre First Date Texting

The first obvious but surprisingly overlooked aspect of this is to figure out whether you’re actually okay with this. A lot of women – and even men – are actually not very thrilled to be on someone’s fast-dial list when they barely even know them and haven’t even gone out on the first date yet. You might justify it saying that it’s just a few innocent text messages, but this is exactly the sort of thing that could escalate into something you didn’t want. So, first, you need to review that first message very carefully and think about whether you want to encourage it or put a stop to it.

Nurturing the Conversation

You can actually choose the direction that the text thread takes. If things are getting too personal, you can politely tell the person that you’d rather meet first before sharing that kind of information. On the other hand, if the conversation turns boring, you can always “forget” to respond to their messages a couple of times in the hope that they get the hint and stop texting you. It’s often hard to do anything when they send “Happy Weekend” or similar messages to you. In such cases, you can either wait and see if they continue to message you or you can take the bull by the horns and take that thread to closure one way or another.

Beware the Boor

Pre first date texting is also a great way to judge a personality. For example, if you notice that the messages are always about them and not you, then it’s reasonable to think that they won’t be much different in a face to face situation.

Experts believe that even though most people think it’s a good way of breaking the ice before that awkward first date, that these texts actually give people a false sense of being intimate with a person even before meeting them. This results in unrealistically high expectations when you actually do meet the person face to face – and subsequent disappointment.

Probably the worst possible outcome of the pre first date texting phenomenon is the mismatch in chemistries when you two finally meet. Your brains are already in sync to a certain degree, but your physical selves are only just getting used to each other. This leads to discomfort without knowing why, and it usually points to the fact that you may know things about each other that a couple on their first date together usually wouldn’t!

One online dating site recently commissioned a survey in which over half the respondents admitted that their phones were the reason they communicated more with their potential first dates. The trend is obvious, but it can be controlled if you know how. These texting tips and bits of useful information should help you handle the situation and keep it (literally) in the palm of your hand at all times.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lorii Abela

Dating Coach

If you have been wondering how you can TURN YOUR LIGHT ON, WOW AND ENCHANT YOUR SOULMATE into entering your life, you are getting close to some answers. Lorii Abela is your Soulmate Expert. To start the year with a bang, find out how can you find love in 2014. Call now at (312) 235-2688 for a free 15 minutes consultation or contact us at


You'll need Skype CreditFree via Skype


Location: Chicago, IL
Credentials: BS
Other Articles/News by Lorii Abela:

7 tips you should know about Chinese ladies


Despite the rapid growth and emergence of China as a major world power in recent years, a lot of people fail to realize that they are still strongly rooted in their tradition. That tradition dates back thousands of years, so it is natural that people of Chinese origin – even those living in the West – still hold their customs and habits close to ... Read more

Interested In Dating Internationally? 6 Online Dating Tips


Online dating tips are everywhere, but you won't find many that give you a clear picture of what you're supposed to do from the time you set up your online profile to preparing for your first date. Read this article, and never be confused again about what's involved! Say Cheese! When you snap yourself for the profile photo, make sure ... Read more

Love Is Right Around the Corner For Women Over 40


If you are over 40, busy as heck and don't have time for anything other than making sure your life's in order, it's likely that you have put romance on a back shelf somewhere. Why? Finding a soulmate isn't a pursuit exclusive to those in their 20s or 30s. In fact, your age is the right age to think maturely about relationships. You have ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Most Popular