I believe the success rate in marriages would be higher if people to go into marriage like they go into their professions. Here is a list of 10 steps you can take to have a better marriage:
1. Research what works and does not work in marriage.
2. Be curious about their partner’s attitudes, values, and beliefs.
3. Learn how to problem solve.
4. Respect your teammate’s space, differences and desires.
5. Have both long-term and short-term goals.
6. Be on the same ‘team’ rather than working at odds with each other.
7. Have an attitude of gratitude for who this person is and that you ‘choose’ each other.
8. If you are going to assume something, assume that your spouse is not trying to hurt you. If someone does not meet your expectations, look to change those expectations before changing the other person.
9. Gear up for being in a marriage like a triathlon. Practice being the best person you can be in relationships.
10. Forgive frequently. No one wants to be held to past mistakes and holding onto resentments in a relationship is poison.
What kind of commitment do you want to have in your relationship? Make sure you are both on the same page. I’ve studied relationships for years, and I certainly made my share of mistakes. I suggest being gentle with yourself and not beat yourself up for past mistakes. Rather, practice increasing your ability to live a long-term committed relationship by practicing one of these steps each month, make each step a habit, and at the end of 10 months, you will certainly be well on your way to a successful marriage. Even better, have a friend join you in this commitment challenge!