5 Ways to give yourself the gift of true authentic love for Valentines Day
1. Stop trying to control and manipulate your partner into doing or being something they are not. Accept with love what they do have to offer, see the gift in what they offer, and do not focus what you did not receive. Remember, you do have the ability to choose what you focus on.
2. If you need something specific to be happy, tell your partner clearly or get it for yourself. Do not expect someone to be a mind-reader as that is a losing proposition.
3. What makes you truly happy? Don’t spend all your time trying to make someone else happy to the point of losing site of what you want or need. For example, if a GREAT gift for you is the gift of time to lay in bed and read, don’t expect your partner to know that and don’t ask for jewelry. Instead, ask your partner to clean the house, do the dishes, watch the children, do laundry, prepare a meal, read to you, or to give you time alone in the house.
4. Knowing what makes you happy and getting your needs met is a great Valentines Day discussion. Gary Chapman in his book “Five Languages of Love” says we all have a primary way of feeling loved. Do you feel loved by being told positive things, quality acts, spending time together, receiving gifts or by touch? A great present to yourself is to be clear and have this conversation with a current or future partner.
5. Finally, if you are not with a partner, make your own joy this day. Take the day off and do something special for yourself. If you really don’t want to be alone, find a friend or family member to hang out with, but do not sit around and mope feeling sorry for yourself! Taking charge of your own happiness is a must.
You can easily kill the romance in your relationship by being so picky about what you want rather than showing appreciation for what you have. If all you have is YOU, then make it enough. Chasing something you don’t have will not give it to you; it will just push it further out of reach. Feeling gratitude for what you do have will help you manifest more of what you want in your life. It is time to stop pushing against the river so romance can flow more abundantly into your life.
Lori S. Rubenstein, JD, PCC spent 18 years as a divorce attorney-mediator, however, her passion for helping others led her down the path of divorce, relationship and forgiveness coaching. She is the author of three transformational books and has a special gift of holding sacred space for people to transcend their “stories” and step into a new, more empowering life. Contact Lori now to set up a 15 minute consultation to learn how you can start to mend your own relationship hurts