Sex and Power, Power and Sex

Arnold, how could you?

It is such a sad state of affairs when we realize over and over again, our politicians, our sport role models, our Hollywood icons, lack the integrity we place on them. It is so easy to tout “family values.” It is another thing to live them. We are waking up to the fact that the people who lecture us most about these so called “family values” are the ones who often have the most to hide.

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Power hungry men, men with real money, power, clout, fame, appeal, seem to put themselves into a category of “I don’t have to play by anyone else’s rules!”

Let’s look at the last few years of Adultery/cheating in America:

Of course President Clinton pops into my mind, even though that was 10 years ago. Then there is my favorite hypocrite of them all, Presidential Candidate and ex Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. We know he cheated on his first two wives and then had the gall to lead the campaign to impeach President Clinton for cheating while he himself was cheating with his own staffer! The world of politics has brought us Presidential hopefuls such as Gary Hart, John Edwards, and former Vice President Al Gore. (We all know the tragedy of John Edward’s affair while his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer!) Remember Senator Larry Craig? He was the man having anonymous gay sex in public restrooms yet touted anti-gay rhetoric. Then there are Governors Mark Sanford and Elliot Spitzer. We unfortunately add Arnold Schwarzenegger to that list. We have the infamous Tiger Woods and Jesse James, who cheated on perhaps some of the most stunningly beautiful wives in the world. I have to ask the age old question: What makes these men cheat?

I remember an Oprah interview with Chris Rock, where he said that cheating is not only on your wife, it’s on your whole family. You love your wife, you love your kids, and therefore you just don’t do it.

Sounds so simple, so where do people get led astray? I believe it’s the “I will never get caught, I’m beyond getting caught, I deserve to have whatever I want” syndrome of people with power. Remember, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Of course, the pain, the hurt, the humiliation and devastation to their wives is not foremost in their minds.

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I realize that the wives in these cases feel the same feelings that any of us do when there is an adultery situation. The years of keeping secrets is so hurtful. They also ask the question, “What is wrong with me?” They feel not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. They look back at the marriage and question their own perceptions – was anything real? The children feel abandoned and confused. Betrayal goes deep and is rampant throughout the entire family unit.

The feelings are the same for men who have experienced the other side of adultery. Since women have less societal power generally, we do not see the cheating in the same light. Typically, women cheat for acknowledgment, attention and love. These are, of course, generalizations.