As a relationship coach talking to younger women about sex, I can tell you that more often that not, they aren't even sure if they've ever experienced an orgasm. At 50, we know. Moreover, we know how to teach men how to treat us, both in and out of the bedroom.
4. Flaunt your flexibility. I don't mean flexibility in bed but in mind and spirit. By this age, we've seen enough of life to know our beliefs change, right/wrong thinking is not attractive and having unreasonable expectations leads to disappointment. Wisdom to know when to let little things go is very attractive to men. We've learned the art of forgiveness and letting go. We tend to be less controlling than our 30-year-old counterpart — we've learned it's useless anyway! We know life is short and fun can be our motto.
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5. Use it or lose it. Many of us older women have been married or in long-term relationships and we know what it is like to be single. We appreciate partnership and we appreciate our time alone. In other words, we are less needy, less desperate and more appreciative. The wisdom that comes with living through both relationships and singlehood reminds us how important it is to keep our sexuality going, whether with a partner or not.
Men and women both have physical body changes over 50. Thankfully people are now talking about it and we share information about what works in dealing with these changes. Vibrators, lubricants, hormone replacement therapies and little pills for men all mean that our sex life can be enhanced and expanded as we age.
Yet, the greatest sexual organ we have is our brain. What we think about sex, relationships, our bodies and the choices we make in regard to our sexuality are vital.
I propose we play more and give into societal mores less as we enter our 50s. If the men you know in their 50s, 60s and 70s are too fuddy-duddy, look for some younger men. The truth is that some are bored with younger self-absorbed women their age, who do not really know what they want.
What do younger men say about dating older women? "Less head games, better sex, they know what they want, I don't have to guess, mature women can teach us what to do and they are great listeners."
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The time is now ladies. Be courageous and allow your fabulous inner-goddess, your luscious 50-something self shine.