More from YourTango: Reflections On Dating And Selecting A Mate
- I wish I had known how spectacular females are, and then honored myself as one among them.
- Males love the company of females.
- The most important thing in a relationship is that HE really gets YOU and vice versa.
- Really getting someone requires only that each person pay close attention and listen deeply.
- Finding someone who really understands you, is like finding a gem in the ocean.
- Pursue a male, but gently without scaring him, or hurting yourself. A man is like a rare and delicate bird you wish to hold in hand.
- Your feelings are your true guides. Negative feelings tell you to slow down. Let the storm pass before reacting.
- Living alone is as valid as living with a life partner and can be equally wonderful.
- With the right attitude, meeting new, available men can result in unexpected gems.
- Life can retain its sparkle whether or not you meet “the one.”
- No NEED to stress or analyze because when you do find “the one," you will know, there’s nothing to think about!
The gem in the ocean:
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If you were in the middle of the ocean hoping to find a rare gem, how would you go about it? Would you stand in one place and pray? Would you stand with outstretched arms hoping the one gem would fall into one of your palms? Would you swim wildly and hope to locate this one and only gem? Would you enjoy yourself in the water, ducking and diving, joyously experiencing your environment, confident that the gem will manifest if it is to be yours.
What a relief, to simply live life, enjoying the men you meet along the way, savoring every moment you can, without thinking it could be better if shared with someone else.
The truth is you are always with YOU, whether alone or not, anyway. We can only be with what is in our mind, that is the “reality” we experience. It is always a personal reality, uniquely your own. Even when with another.
True, you can’t really kiss yourself but it is possible to comfort yourself in other ways, for instance have you ever felt so bereft that you needed a hug? Try giving it to yourself. It is particularly effective in bed at night. A wonderfully comforting way to lull yourself to sleep.You can even have a conversation with yourself -- I’ll bet that you’ve done that already, on at least one occasion. Truly you are only limited by your own limiting thoughts.
When I was younger, I didn’t know what I had; a precious gift of one person’s life. Later in life, I spent time thinking about how much I wanted to share this moment or that moment with a significant other. I have spent more time in my adult life alone than with a significant other, but that truly does not matter. What matters most is the life you make for yourself, in your mind, in the moment.