Choosing Cyberspace Over Hot Sex?


Choosing Cyberspace Over Hot Sex?
A new study suggests we crave social media more than sex. It doesn't have to be that way...

Think about it; when we're not having personal thoughts, we’re not self-conscious. When we’re not self-conscious, we feel good, we're focused on what we're doing, we're grounded in the moment, in the here and now. Isn't that what everyone wants?

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2. You can find people like you in cyberspace. People can locate others with the same opinion on anything, in cyberspace, whereas their partner is sure to have different opinions on (possibly, most) things.

Doesn't everyone secretly want to marry an opposite sexed clone? Some people may say they don't, but deep down inside, I'll bet it's the same for everyone (I could be wrong, but...) Doesn't it seem as though life would be easier and we'd get a whole lot more done if in fact we could hook up with someone just like us?

3. No one in cyberspace will judge you ... and if they do, you can just x them out or unfriend them. How convenient is that? A sure fire way to gain acceptance no matter what? Who wouldn't want that experience?

4. You can be whoever you want to be in cyberspace. You can show your best self or even your fantasy self if you’re on a dating site, but life with another is not so controllable. I wonder if it's human nature to want to live out a fantasy, be part of a fairy tale, create the life you want?

5. Cyberspace lets you escape from reality. The cyberspace experience is pure fantasy, partnering is pure reality — actually not so "pure."  "Personal" reality is more accurate, but what if ...

1. People could get out of their own thinking while they were with their partner? Wouldn't that make a difference?

2. Your partner's different opinions intrigued you instead of angered you? Wouldn't that make life more interesting and fun?

3. You and your partner appreciated one another and understood the dangers of judgment? That sure would make for a more loving environment.

4. You and your partner exhibited compassion when you were not operating from your best selves? To feel understood must be the best feelng in the known universe.

5. You realized that your "personal reality" is actually fantasy anyway. It's all an illusion brought to us by our ability to think (imagine) and to be conscious of that which we think up!

... and then there is the question of Internet pornography and the effect it has on a relationship. Stay tuned for my next blog! But first, I'd love to hear what you think about this study and if you've had any personal experience.

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