10 Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

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10 Lessons I Learned From My Divorce [EXPERT]
Don't let your divorce hold you back. Learn from it, and continue to thrive.
  • Your primary relationship is the most important thing in the world.
  • You should never hold anything against your partner.
  •  Forgiveness will set you free.
  • Leave the past alone; it no longer exists, except in your mind in the form of a memory. Only the present moment exists.
  • Every moment is an opportunity to change your relationship.

7. The miracle of merging. Believe me, it makes no logical sense that I would be alone for so many years. Not someone who loves the idea of being a couple, who respects relationships and wants to learn as much as she can about them. Does that make sense to you? It can only make sense because it is a miracle when it happens.

I would venture to say that anyone currently in a committed relationship who is reading this could benefit from hearing that. It is not something to be taken for granted, for whatever time you have together. I wonder if molecules appreciate one another.

8. Not all relationships are made to last forever. My ex and I have sort of kept in touch. He sent me an invitation to his wedding, though I had no interest in attending. A girlfriend of mine who knew him was more interested in going than I. At some point, I received a "Connect with me on LinkedIn" invitation and of course, I accepted. I did find it interesting to see a photo of how he looks now, eighteen years later, and to read some of his writing. I felt happy to have spent time with him, but it had a shelf life.

When it was done, it was done. I have no regrets. I'm grateful for all the unusual situations to which I was privy because of his entrance in my life. Do you think molecules guide eachother with intention?

Without him, I would never have gotten to Sundance, conducted by Leonard Crowdog on the Rosebud Reservation in North Dakota. (or was it South?) I would never have been flown to Mt. Shasta to participate in a sweatlodge ceremony, conducted by Sun Bear and Peter Caddy of Findhorn fame. I would never have had the courage to move into a million dollar property and rent half of it to a couple of Stanford University professors. I would never have had the chutzpah to go on a Vision Quest in the Nevada desert, or an Outward Bound adventure in the Northern Cascades.

These are delightful memories; we all offer one another gifts along our way. It makes me yearn for a new chapter with a new love. I've learned so much ... wouldn't that make the next one much easier and deeper? I'll know now how to navigate the rough spots. I know that it's just a matter of returning to my innate health and wisdom which is always there, ready to plunge into; the ultimate individual and relational safety net. 5 Ways To Feel Dateable After Divorce

But we can't jump to safety if we don't know there's a net. Do molecules know that they have an innate health, an innate wisdom and intelligence? Or, are they all of that, without knowing it?

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