10 Lessons I Learned From My Divorce

At that time in my life, I hadn't even had any significant alone time to know how it's supposed to feel and what I would run up against. I wondered if I could handle it all on my own. I was tempted to call my father to sit on my couch while I unpacked. I wouldn't ask him to do a thing but him sitting there, even in silence, would help.

I bucked up instead, knowing somewhere deep inside that I would be okay, just as everyone else on the planet who lives alone is okay. I had spent a year in a post-graduate training program about letting go of undesirable, non-productive thinking, but this was a challenge I was not prepared to face. Yet, forced to face it, I was led (dragged might be a better description) to a new precipice. A precipice I would never have experienced without that event; the divorce event. And, my goodness what a view; once you get up the nerve to scoot yourself over there. I wonder if molecules can feel fear?

5. People matter more than things. My divorce was so simple that it would be laughable by today's standards. We had lived together for eleven years with no children, and we had effortlessly found a good home for our cat who we only had a few short months before we made our decision to part ways. We did not have many belongings, so dividing property felt more like two kids choosing marbles. Within the first month, my former husband called me to inform me that he was standing online at blockbuster, ready to rent a movie, when he realized he took the TV and I took the VCR. Does Premarital Cohabitation Predict Divorce?

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I realize it's not quite this easy for most couples, however. We were lucky. We both realized our time together, though precious in many ways, had served it's purpose; we had gone together for as long as we could and then it just didn't make sense to continue further. It was clear to both of us. Do molecules part ways when nature sees fit?

6. Learning about how relationships function is well worth the effort. So, I've had this insatiable desire to learn about relationships. Of course, the best way to learn about something is to actually experience it. But since I've not been blessed with that occurrence yet, (or I haven't found the way to manufacture it) I've had to resort to the shelves (and there are many) of relationship books at Barnes and Noble, Borders, Amazon ... my bookshelves at home look like the relationship section of B&N.

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The most valuable things I learned, however, was from someone who had only a ninth grade education, yet was the wisest person I've ever known. This may not sound earth-shattering to you, but when I heard Sydney Banks say these things, it rang a chord in me: