It may take a long time of this to fill us up – our wells might be very dry indeed.
When you have to pick either the chicken or the egg - focusing on the happiness of the women or of the men in a group – it’s best to pick the women as a starting place. A truly happy woman naturally wants everyone else around her to be happy and get exactly what they want. She’s like the best kind of epidemic there is. But this is not necessarily the case with happy men. A happy man is a great thing, no doubt, but he does not necessarily affect the level of happiness of the group, as does a woman. And often, what makes a happy man is that the women around him are happy. And often, when women focus worried attention on whether the men are happy, her worrying makes the men unhappy.
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It is not that men get ignored in this equation. It does no good for either gender to feel disregarded, unable to give their deepest gifts. Generally what happens when a woman receives attention and appreciation from a man is that she wants more than anything for him to be happy and enjoying his life. A woman who is full and gratified is full of the very creative life energy that created us all. Anything that is full overflows generously on everything that is in its path.
Here we are, men and women alike, in the middle of our lives playing the most engaging, intimate and intense game of love, sex and relationship, and playing it from an enlightened perspective. The founding father of Morehouse, one of the veteran places I studied, Dr. Victor Baranco says, “If you're going to play the game anyway, why not win?”
It would seem the winning formula is to start, every last one of us, with appreciating and placing positive attention on women and appreciating what’s right and good, thereby nourishing us in all our dry, cracked places. We women cannot delay our joy one moment nor wait an instant for our culture to catch up; we must take full responsibility for our own happiness. We must dive headlong in the waters of our desires, passions and that which brings us deep pleasure. And somewhere in the middle, the women get watered. And when the woman are watered, springtime returns to quench the thirsty land.
Is a woman who is happy and radiant a fully enlightened being? Rather than speculating, let’s ask her, shall we? And either way, I figure, a world abounding with happy women, defining “happiness” by our own surplus, joy and generosity, defining “enlightenment” by our own lit-up behavior, is a pretty great start.
LiYana Silver, CHC, RYT, MaNLP: When the inner nudge (or whallop upside your head) tells you it's time to reignite, redefine and redesign your relationship for the 21st Century, here's some bold, fresh guidance to make it doable. For women and their partners who want to step out of painful patterns and relationship ruts and step into partnerships that are strong, sexy, sweet, sane and built to withstand the pressures of the 21st Century ... welcome.
Bringing over 10 years of expertise, LiYana helps alchemize the seemingly complex and insurmountable stumbling blocks of human relating into the bricks and mortar of juicy, pliable, strong-like-bull partnerships. With some dollops of hope, sizzle, respect and delight on top. LiYana maintains a private practice as a Relationship Coach, speaks nationally, lectures in corporations and colleges, has appeared on dozens of radio and TV shows, maintains her website and business, Love 3.0 (cuz 1.0 and 2.0 aren't working so well!), and writes for various blogs and magazines.
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Does your relationship stand a chance? Find out: http://www.love3point0.com.