In high school, I went from being obsessed with a guy who had a girlfriend but always swore he loved me more (even though he remained committed to her and I followed him around like a love sick puppy) to falling in love with a devoutly religious man in my 20s whose love of God trumped his feelings for me to a narcissistic sociopath whose words said Love but whose fists said Hate to a passionless 3 year relationship where video games and action figures rocked his world more than I did (not that he was floating my boat either) to a roller coaster romance with my Big Breakup, a gregarious guy who admitted from Day 1 that he couldn’t and wouldn’t meet my needs and yet I eagerly said Sign Me Up!
Am I painting a clear enough picture?
After my Big Breakup, I swore off love.
I never wanted to feel that much pain, disappointment, devastation, or drama again.
THAT’S when I started changing my Love Brand.
After one too pity parties where I swore off men and swore like a sailor at God for not letting me experience my core value of Real & Lasting Love, I got real with myself.
Somewhere between en episode of Dr. Phil and once again sleeping with my ex, only to yet again scrape my crying hot mess self off the bathroom floor, it hit me.
I WAS THE PROBLEM.
That was the bad news.
The good news was…I could also be the solution!
And so can YOU.
If you find yourself today, or any other day for that matter, feeling like there’s a lack of love in your life, then you may want to check in with yourself on your Love Brand.
If you’re feeling like love is out of reach for you, you most likely need a Love Brand tuneup.
If you feel like the love already in your life is NOT aligned with the love you desire, you definitely deserve to tune in and tune up.
If you feel like LOVE is something that’s readily available to others, but not for you, then your Love Brand is CLOSED FOR BUSINESS. And that just won’t do!
Here are three simple steps that will help you shift your Love Brand from Boohoo! to Woohoo! status…
1. Get clear about how you currently feel about Love, taking into consideration both what IS and IS NOT working for you. For example, does your current Love Brand make you feel happy, hopeful, and healthy, or pitiful, pissed, and pointless? Get specific.
2. Create a NEW Love Brand vision for yourself. This means getting creative and writing down the words that align with how you want Love to look and feel, as well as images from magazines or online that mirror what you think your ideal Love will look and feel like. Check in with your revised Love Branding morning and night for 30 days and you’ll be surprised what shifts. (When I started doing this daily, I met my husband within 2 months!)
3. Ask yourself how YOU need to show up differently to make this revised Love Brand a reality. Do you need to STOP feeling hopeless, cynical, betrayed, angry, spiteful, jealous, and paralyzed and START feeling hopeful, confident, magnetic, sexy, adorable, abundant, and excited?
Once you get your answers, act accordingly. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can reinvent and rebuild your Love Brand into something you actually feel excited about!
The truth is, the Love Brand you experienced growing up may no longer fit you.
The Love Brand you embodied in your teens, twenties, thirties, and even forties may feel too rigid, constricting, or unsatisfying.
But your Love Brand for today and tomorrow and every day following? That, my friend, is up to YOU to create.