Happy Valentine’s Day! Or, as I used to call it when I ran my website BreakupChronicles.com, Happy Breakup Celebration Day.
Whether you find yourself celebrating The Ones Who Got Away (Thank God!) or The One, it’s important to remember that February 14th is just a day like any other.
But…because the world around us sends us messages about Love today, telling us we’re lucky if we HAVE a loving partner, and we’re lacking if we DON’T, I wanted to touch base and ask you something important…
What’s Your Love Brand?
Let me clarify.
As you know, branding is something I’m incredibly passionate about. But it’s not just for business. It’s for life and relationships, too.
When you’re living a life that’s fully aligned with your vision and values…
When your relationships – both platonic and romantic – align with what you want love to look and feel like…
When you walk out of the house in the morning and feel confident that the image you project in the world at large accurately reflects who you are on the inside…
When you conduct business on a daily basis – either for yourself or on someone else’s behalf – and know that your energy, communication style, and confidence level fully supports you…
That’s when you know you’re living the full embodiment of your love, life, and business brand.
And since it's Valentine’s Day, let’s get specific about your LOVE BRAND.
Believe it or not, you do NOT have to be in a relationship to have a rock solid and rock star love brand.
Love branding STARTS with your relationship with yourself, hokey as it may sound.
How you talk to yourself, treat yourself, and accept yourself is the first act of compassion you bring to your love brand.
The next act comes when you connect to your ideal vision of Love.
For example, if you’re like me, you may not have grown up in a household where love was healthy, whole, abundant, and fulfilling.
Quite the opposite may have been true!
I grew up in a home where I became my mother’s marriage counselor at the age of 12. While I was still playing with my Barbie dolls, my mother was crying and soliciting advice on how to make my dad love her.
Imagine MY Love Brand and beliefs as I became a teenager and started dating.
It’s no wonder I attracted and maintained relationships with men from age 15 to 30 that ping ponged between emotionally unavailable, abusive, and unrequited to intense, overly tumultuous, and confusing.
My Love Brand was aligned with my core belief that Love was difficult, painful, excruciating, and unfulfilling.
My reality had no choice but to get in line with those unhealthy and unhappy brand statements…
In high school, I went from being obsessed with a guy who had a girlfriend but always swore he loved me more (even though he remained committed to her and I followed him around like a love sick puppy) to falling in love with a devoutly religious man in my 20s whose love of God trumped his feelings for me to a narcissistic sociopath whose words said Love but whose fists said Hate to a passionless 3 year relationship where video games and action figures rocked his world more than I did (not that he was floating my boat either) to a roller coaster romance with my Big Breakup, a gregarious guy who admitted from Day 1 that he couldn’t and wouldn’t meet my needs and yet I eagerly said Sign Me Up!
Am I painting a clear enough picture?
After my Big Breakup, I swore off love.
I never wanted to feel that much pain, disappointment, devastation, or drama again.
THAT’S when I started changing my Love Brand.
After one too pity parties where I swore off men and swore like a sailor at God for not letting me experience my core value of Real & Lasting Love, I got real with myself.
Somewhere between en episode of Dr. Phil and once again sleeping with my ex, only to yet again scrape my crying hot mess self off the bathroom floor, it hit me.
I WAS THE PROBLEM.
That was the bad news.
The good news was…I could also be the solution!
And so can YOU.
If you find yourself today, or any other day for that matter, feeling like there’s a lack of love in your life, then you may want to check in with yourself on your Love Brand.
If you’re feeling like love is out of reach for you, you most likely need a Love Brand tuneup.
If you feel like the love already in your life is NOT aligned with the love you desire, you definitely deserve to tune in and tune up.
If you feel like LOVE is something that’s readily available to others, but not for you, then your Love Brand is CLOSED FOR BUSINESS. And that just won’t do!
Here are three simple steps that will help you shift your Love Brand from Boohoo! to Woohoo! status…
1. Get clear about how you currently feel about Love, taking into consideration both what IS and IS NOT working for you. For example, does your current Love Brand make you feel happy, hopeful, and healthy, or pitiful, pissed, and pointless? Get specific.
2. Create a NEW Love Brand vision for yourself. This means getting creative and writing down the words that align with how you want Love to look and feel, as well as images from magazines or online that mirror what you think your ideal Love will look and feel like. Check in with your revised Love Branding morning and night for 30 days and you’ll be surprised what shifts. (When I started doing this daily, I met my husband within 2 months!)
3. Ask yourself how YOU need to show up differently to make this revised Love Brand a reality. Do you need to STOP feeling hopeless, cynical, betrayed, angry, spiteful, jealous, and paralyzed and START feeling hopeful, confident, magnetic, sexy, adorable, abundant, and excited?
Once you get your answers, act accordingly. You’ll be surprised how quickly you can reinvent and rebuild your Love Brand into something you actually feel excited about!
The truth is, the Love Brand you experienced growing up may no longer fit you.
The Love Brand you embodied in your teens, twenties, thirties, and even forties may feel too rigid, constricting, or unsatisfying.
But your Love Brand for today and tomorrow and every day following? That, my friend, is up to YOU to create.