Expert Blog Compelling advice, stories, and thought-provoking perspectives straight from YourTango's lineup of Experts to you

Single and Scared: Debunking the Scarcity Myth

Love

The point of this exercise is to debunk the scarcity myth by showing yourself that there’s actually an abundance of men in your every day life. They may not always be interested (and you may not be interested either), they may not always be available, but by getting into the practice of noticing and acknowledging men, you're more likely to spot the ones who ARE interested and available when they present themselves to you.

Now, if your routine goes something like this: home, work, gym, home, then you’ve got to shake things up. At least once a week from now on, break with routine and put yourself in a target rich environment. Suggested activities include:

• Stop by the bookstore after work and browse a topic of interest while keeping your eye out for any cuties.

• Recruit your gal pals for an after work drink at a local hotspot. In addition to enjoying the cocktails, scope out the scene for sexy strangers. (Make eye contact and smile!)

• Do some research for a fun singles activity, i.e. speed dating, a networking mixer, or Sierra Club hike and go for it. Enjoy!

• Find a cause near and dear to your heart and volunteer on a Saturday or Sunday. You never know who you’ll meet.

These are just some of the suggested activities you can engage in to mix up your routine. Remember, the goal is not necessarily to score a date, but to get you out of your monotonous routine that may be keeping you from meeting men.

The more you put yourself in target rich environments and get comfortable talking to strangers, the better!

Getting outside your comfort zone can feel uncomfortable. Keep at it. Celebrate your successes. Learn from your challenges. And just have fun! For more on how rocking your love life, pick up my book If He's Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong - and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right.

Got questions about rocking your dating life in 2010? Email ask@lisasteadman.com or post a question or comment on the blog.

Explore YourTango

MOST POPULAR