Why 'Having It All' Doesn't Have To Mean Having Kids

By

Why 'Having It All' Doesn't Have To Mean Having Kids [EXPERT]
Anne-Marie Slaughter's article in the Atlantic assumes "having it all" includes having kids.

I'm not advocating people abandon their children. I'm simply suggesting that we broaden our definition of what it means to have it all. Having it all isn't about checking all the boxes on the page (wife, mother, career woman). It's about choosing and checking only the boxes you want to experience in this life and celebrating those choices because they are your own.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not oblivious to the blessings and joys that being a parent, even temporarily, has brought into my life. There's nothing sweeter than a child lighting up when you walk in the room, or wrapping her arm around your neck as you carry her down the stairs, or leaning in to you as you sing her to sleep.

 

I'm humbled by the deepened intimacy caring for a child has created between my husband and myself, and for the new things we've discovered about each other along this journey. I had no idea what a talented artist my husband was until he started drawing with my niece. And he had no idea about the childhood songs I wrote and made my family perform on command that I now sing to my niece on a daily basis (it's awesome to hear him singing those same original songs to her while I'm in the other room working.)

I get it. Those moments are priceless. And I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to experience them. But while I've adapted to less sleep, paying out the nose for a nanny, and getting used to my sex life and travel schedule being on hold indefinitely, I am now more clear than ever that for me, having it all does not include a wee one.

Again, this isn't about my choices being right or wrong. It's about the fact that they are my choices. Just as they are every woman's choice.

Whether you're single, in a relationship, married with children, every woman has the opportunity to have it all by celebrating exactly where she is in life and relishing the power of her choices. 5 Steps To Self-Love & Happiness [EXPERT]

And instead of judging each other's choices or condemning another woman who has made different choices as being incapable of having it all, wouldn't we all be better off to broaden our definition of having it all and celebrate what that looks like for each and every woman we know? To me, this is the new woman's right to choose. And while we may never agree, I would hope we can adopt the new definition of having it all and honor each other's choices for the complex and unique women of the world we are. 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman

Author

Lisa Steadman

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Lisa Steadman:

I Lost My Cool With A 6-Year-Old Bully On The Playground

By

Yes, you read that right I'm a real a**hole on the playground. More specifically, I may be ruining young psyches with my playground politics. Case in point: My recent run in with a little girl we'll call Julia. In my defense, Julia's a real prima donna. Blonde. Prissy. Know-it-all. She may only be 5 or 6 now, but I see Julia's future. ... Read more

I Am Jealous Of My Husband's Love For A (Much) Younger Lady

By

My worst fear has been realized. My husband has fallen in love with another girl. Life, as I know it, is over. Just as I expected, the other lady is younger and cuter than I am. Surprisingly enough, she, like me, has thick thighs and a round booty. However, unlike my ever expansive 40-something lower half, she's still at an age when thigh chunk and butt ... Read more

Don't Let Money Put A Tax On Your Relationship

By

Growing up, my parents argued about money constantly. Having been raised by a single mother in extreme poverty, my father worried there was never enough. Having grown up somewhat entitled, my mother believed that as long as there were checks left in the checkbook, she had spending power. And while my family was firmly middle class, many of my childhood memories ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular