Newly Single, Party of One: How to reinvent yourself after a breakup


Newly Single, Party of One: How to reinvent yourself after a breakup

Invest in making your home the ultimate bachelorette pad, complete with stocked cocktail bar, plasma TV, and luxurious bedroom.

If after the breakup you were the one to relocate, how do you want to re-create your space so that your focus is firmly on your fab future? Be sure to surround yourself with art, imagery, and inspired objects that make you feel good. Build yourself a single gal shrine complete with affirmations, a vision board, and any other accessories that will remind you how fabulous being single really is, as well as what you’d like to manifest in your romantic future. Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon, a new and improved you is unfolding day by day. Give her the space, nurturing, and opportunity to spread her beautiful wings and fly.


Your Mind/Body/Spirit
Be honest. Does being single sometimes feel like a life sentence? Does it feel like something you have to endure indefinitely, hopelessly suffer through, in hopes of one day getting real relief when Mr. Right shows up? If you answered yes to any of the above, don’t beat yourself up. Millions of single women who have come before you have felt the exact same way. And when they were introduced to a saucy little secret via their fellow fab females, everything changed.

Want to know that secret?

The key to unlocking your prison cell is to free yourself. Sound corny? Keep reading. Start by celebrating who you are right this very minute, learning to nurture your mind, body, and spirit. And no, you don’t have to be a Zen master to achieve this. Simply start by tuning in to your internal thoughts, feelings, and beliefs on a daily basis. Listen to your inner dialogue. If you notice repeated negative beliefs, see if you can reframe them into more positive ones. For example, if you constantly find yourself thinking I hate being single or When it comes to love, everyone else seems to get it right. Why can’t I? it’s time to reframe those thoughts. Again, ask a better question. For example, shift from I hate being single to What can I do today to enjoy being single more? The answers that come may surprise you. And the subtle shifts that follow can do wonders for your outlook on your single and ready to mingle life.

A New Passion
Do you have a deep-seated desire that’s never quite come to light? Is there something you’re secretly passionate about, yet up to now that passion has been lying dormant and unexplored? From a lurking hobby to an internal compass-directed passion, now is your chance to step aside and let your true desires unfold. Everyone’s personal passion is different. It can be as simple as knowing you want to go back to school but feeling afraid to go for it. Or hearing a small voice inside telling you it’s time to switch careers. Or maybe you’ve always had a fascination with the ocean, would secretly love to get certified as a scuba diver, but have never expressed it out of fear, doubt, insecurity (Don’t worry about how you’ll look in a wetsuit. Just go for it!).

One of the most exquisite gifts being single affords you is the opportunity to call all the shots. You decide how your money gets spent, what you give your time and energy to, and how you live your life. Sometimes having so much choice can feel overwhelming. But the truth is, your freedom is a gift. Don’t squander it, convinced it’s a burden. Cherish it. Celebrate it! And give yourself permission to become that amazing woman you secretly know you are. This is your chance to be self-indulgent and self-nurturing (not to mention bold). What are you waiting for?!

To help celebrate the new Y-O-U that’s emerging, pick up a copy of If He's Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong - and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right. And share your comments here.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman


Lisa Steadman

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
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