If the guy doesn't like us, we get devastated. He didn't choose us. Never mind that he may not have been right for us. Instead of moving on quickly, we cry, mope, and beat ourselves up for days, weeks, months on end.
What a lot of wasted time and energy! Especially considering it probably had nothing to do with us in the first place.
More from YourTango: 4 Reasons To Get Back With An Ex - Or Not
If a job doesn't work out, we blame ourselves. And we carried out emotional baggage into the next job.
We want a boyfriend, we want to start our own business, we want to live out loud...
So why are we cowering in a corner whispering about it?
Why aren’t we shouting from the rooftops, taking action, making bold leaps and taking risks, making mistakes along the way, learning from them, applying them, and continuing forward?
Now that’s a life worth living!
So how do you become the chooser?
What if you get ballsy, put yourself out there, and smile, make eye contact and ACTUALLY talk to men on a daily basis (at the grocery store, in the latte line, and the elevator at work, at the gym, in line for popcorn at the movies, while rollerblading on the beach). And test, experience, and tweak your results.
The truth is, Mr. Right isn't going to just show up one day on your doorstep. And if he did, you’d think he was a stalker and call 911, am I right?
Now’s the time to get off our butts, get in the game, and have fun!
Is it scary to step into action? Sure. Because it requires you to change your behavior. It means you have to get beyond what's comfortable. But the more you do it, the more comfortable you get.
In my book If He's Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong - and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right I share all kinds of juicy tips and tidbits for where to go to meet men. I'm all about the target rich environment!
Here’s how to start taking action right now: Identify three to five target rich environments where men you would actually like to date hang out.
• If you're the outdoors type, the Sierra Club is a great organization to become a part of.
• If you’re artsy, gallery openings, museum exhibits, etc. are right up your alley.
More from YourTango: Confessions Of An Imposter Mom: Playground Politics
• If you actually like sports, sports bars are a great target rich environment.
The key to manifesting Mr. Right is to start taking an active role in choosing potential partners. And that means you have to get out there, practice, circulate, and have fun. Good luck and happy dating!