There’s no denying it. Breaking
up is oh-so hard to do, especially in
today’s 24-hour techno-savvy world of Facebook, Twitter, and post-breakup booty
calls arranged via sexting. Before you get down in the dumps about getting
dumped (or even if you did the dumping), the following five tips will help kick
start your recovery. Before you know it,
you’ll not only be surviving but thriving!
EXtract Your Ex from Your Life
Immediately following the breakup, cut your ex out
of your life. That means no cyber stalking him on his Facebook, MySpace, or
Twitter page, no 3 a.m. desperation emails or texts, and no driving by your
ex’s house to see who's home. You should
also make a clean sweep of your home, getting rid of any and all items that
remind you or relate to your ex. This exorcism can be challenging but in order
to really move on after a breakup, it's absolutely essential.
If you have
to keep your ex in your life (if you have kids together, run a business
together, etc.), you should immediately create new boundaries and ground
rules. For example, only discuss matters
relating to your children or business and avoid talking about your personal
lives. Do NOT try to help each other
through the breakup. That's what your
friends are for.
Recruit a Boo-Hoo Crew
And speaking of friends, as much as your instincts
may be nudging you to wallow all alone in your comfy cocoon, you're never going
to get through the breakup without them.
Which is why now's the time to recruit a Boo-Hoo Crew. Part cheerleader,
part therapist, your Boo-Hoo Crew should be reliable, patient, and consist of
at least three friends for round-the-clock supervision and support. The role of
the Boo-Hoo Crew is to provide the following:
shoulder to cry on
voice of reason
control (in case you get the urge to contact your ex)
Women are especially tough on themselves following
a breakup. They feel like a failure at
love. They also feel like their chances
of experiencing their happily ever after future have just been obliterated. The Why’s,
What if’s, and If only I’d… statements take over, driving even the sanest woman to
the brink of insanity. That’s why it’s
essential in breakup recovery to forgive yourself, to understand that you did
everything you possibly could, but things still didn’t work out. It’s not a character flaw. It’s just reality.
Put your Focus Elsewhere
Feeling down in the dumps after getting
dumped? While you should give yourself
time to celebrate your slump, you shouldn’t let your entire life go down the
drain. Focus your energies on building your business, landing that promotion,
or in some other way make your work life take off. By committing to your future success, you
take the focus off your ex and the past and put it on your brilliant future.
Redefine Happily Ever After
While the future you and your ex had mapped out
together has suddenly disappeared, your happily ever after future didn’t die.
Now’s the time to reinvent what you want for yourself and your future. Is it time to change careers, go back to
school, buy your first home, transform your body, etc.? Without being tied
down, you’re now free to do exactly what you’ve always dreamed of. Set some goals, identify some action steps,
and go for it!