Expert: How To Reinvent Your Love Life

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Expert: How To Reinvent Your Love Life

In the end, I didn’t do any of the above. OK, I did lose 15 pounds. And quit my job. And rent out my condo. And take a mental health sabbatical to the Montana wilderness for 6 weeks to clear my head.

When I returned to Los Angeles, homeless and jobless, I made a very conscious decision. I would never again let my age, my size, or my single status make me feel unworthy of living a life I loved. With that one simple decision, I started implementing my Backup Plan. Sure, I was living off savings. And okay, I was sleeping on my best friend’s living room floor. But you know what else? I hadn’t felt this happy in years.

 

Free from the trappings of a life that no longer worked (a mortgage payment, the 9a.m. to 5p.m. grind, and being emotionally handcuffed to my ex), I embraced my ability to rebuild my life from the ground up. While there were days I seriously questioned my sanity, I trusted that this new direction was leading me somewhere. Somewhere good, I hoped. Stress Management: Balancing Work And Love

My instincts were spot-on.

As I continued implementing my Backup Plan, I became a man magnet. Everywhere I went—from Starbucks to the sushi bar—men were flocking to me. And not just any men. The kind of men I’d always wished I could attract, but who had once upon a time seemed repelled by me. Men who wrote for satirical political TV shows, men who volunteered to help clean up Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina, men who appreciated that I was living and loving my Backup Plan. How To Date In The Present

And it wasn’t just men who were magnetized to me. I also became an opportunity magnet.

When I wasn’t meeting and going on the most fabulously fun dates, I was fielding incredible career opportunities that seemingly fell into my lap. I started making a living as a freelance relationship journalist. I got my first book deal chronicling my Big Breakup and the life that was unfolding before me.

While this new direction had initially seemed like nothing more than a half-baked Backup Plan when my original life plans had crashed and burned, suddenly my choices seemed like a well constructed and well orchestrated reinvention.

And then I met H-I-M.

The H-I-M in question is now my husband. Back then, he was just some well dressed, well-spoken, emotionally available man who happened to be sitting at the table next to me one night at a bar. We initially bonded over a shared appreciation for David Sedaris and Pink Martini. Once we started talking, we didn’t stop.

Five years later, we’re still talking. And laughing. And loving.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman

Author

Lisa Steadman

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
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