Expert: How To Reinvent Your Love Life


Expert: How To Reinvent Your Love Life

In the end, I didn’t do any of the above. OK, I did lose 15 pounds. And quit my job. And rent out my condo. And take a mental health sabbatical to the Montana wilderness for 6 weeks to clear my head.

When I returned to Los Angeles, homeless and jobless, I made a very conscious decision. I would never again let my age, my size, or my single status make me feel unworthy of living a life I loved. With that one simple decision, I started implementing my Backup Plan. Sure, I was living off savings. And okay, I was sleeping on my best friend’s living room floor. But you know what else? I hadn’t felt this happy in years.

Free from the trappings of a life that no longer worked (a mortgage payment, the 9a.m. to 5p.m. grind, and being emotionally handcuffed to my ex), I embraced my ability to rebuild my life from the ground up. While there were days I seriously questioned my sanity, I trusted that this new direction was leading me somewhere. Somewhere good, I hoped. Stress Management: Balancing Work And Love

My instincts were spot-on.

As I continued implementing my Backup Plan, I became a man magnet. Everywhere I went—from Starbucks to the sushi bar—men were flocking to me. And not just any men. The kind of men I’d always wished I could attract, but who had once upon a time seemed repelled by me. Men who wrote for satirical political TV shows, men who volunteered to help clean up Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina, men who appreciated that I was living and loving my Backup Plan. How To Date In The Present

And it wasn’t just men who were magnetized to me. I also became an opportunity magnet.

When I wasn’t meeting and going on the most fabulously fun dates, I was fielding incredible career opportunities that seemingly fell into my lap. I started making a living as a freelance relationship journalist. I got my first book deal chronicling my Big Breakup and the life that was unfolding before me.

While this new direction had initially seemed like nothing more than a half-baked Backup Plan when my original life plans had crashed and burned, suddenly my choices seemed like a well constructed and well orchestrated reinvention.

And then I met H-I-M.

The H-I-M in question is now my husband. Back then, he was just some well dressed, well-spoken, emotionally available man who happened to be sitting at the table next to me one night at a bar. We initially bonded over a shared appreciation for David Sedaris and Pink Martini. Once we started talking, we didn’t stop.

Five years later, we’re still talking. And laughing. And loving.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman

Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Lisa Steadman:

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