Boohoo Crew 101: Heartbreak help

By

Boohoo Crew 101: Heartbreak help

To successfully survive and thrive after a breakup, savvy breakup survivors know that they can’t heal and move on without a little help from their friends. And that’s where the Boohoo Crew comes in. Part cheerleader, part therapist, your Boohoo Crew should be reliable, patient, and consist of at least three friends for round-the-clock supervision and support.

The role of the Boohoo Crew is to provide the following:
•    A shoulder to cry on
•    A voice of reason
•    Damage control (in case you get the urge to contact your ex)
•    The bright side

Tips for assembling the perfect Boohoo Crew
Not everyone’s cut out to be a Boohoo Crew member. It’s important to recruit only those friends who are up to the challenge. While assembling your crew, keep the following considerations in mind:

•    Include only those friends who are loving and supportive.
•    Exclude any so-called friends who might say things like “I told you so,” brag about their own relationship, or ask if they can call your ex (in fact, dump these “friends” immediately!).
•    Do not include any mutual friends who might report back to your ex on your progress (and/or dish about your setbacks).

The Boohoo Crew code of honor

During your slump, your Boohoo Crew should be available 24/7. It may sound like a tremendous commitment, but that’s what friends are for. You’d do it for them (if you haven’t already). And let’s face it: There are times in life when you have to sleep in shifts. This just happens to be one of those times.

There are also going to be times when you’ll obsess about your ex, times when you’ll want your ex back, and times when all you can think about is picking up the phone and calling your ex. These are the times when you should rely on your Boohoo Crew for support. You’ll want to choose friends who know you well enough to know when you need comfort versus when you need a kick in the pants. Friends who can remind you of the nitpicky negative things you once said about your ex that you’re going to forget when you’re wishing you two were still together. Your Boohoo Crew should always know (and be able to remind you) why your ex wasn’t good for you then, and why he or she is definitely not worth pining over now.

When we’re in post-breakup mode, some of us have trouble reaching out to others. We think asking for help is a sign of weakness, but it’s not. It’s a show of strength. So go out there and recruit the best Boohoo Crew ever! (Right now.)

To kick start your healing process, be sure to pick up my books It's A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life - for good! and It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is Without Him.

Got a question about how to get over your ex? Email ask@lisasteadman.com.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman

Author

Lisa Steadman

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
Other Articles/News by Lisa Steadman:

Confessions Of An Imposter: Meeting The Other Woman

By

My worst fear has been realized....My husband has fallen in love with another woman. Life as I know it is over. Just as I expected, the other woman is younger than I and cuter than I. Surprisingly enough, she, like me, has thick thighs and a round booty. However, unlike my ever expansive 40-something lower half, she's still at an age when thigh chunk ... Read more

Don't Let Money Put A Tax On Your Relationship

By

Growing up, my parents argued about money constantly. Having been raised by a single mother in extreme poverty, my father worried there was never enough. Having grown up somewhat entitled, my mother believed that as long as there were checks left in the checkbook, she had spending power. And while my family was firmly middle class, many of my childhood memories ... Read more

"The Force Wasn't With Us" — A Star Wars Breakup

By

In 2004, I launched The Breakup Chronicles because I had just had my heart smashed to smithereens for the umpteenth time and needed to figure out why I was getting love so wrong, so consistently. The common denominator was most definitely me. In writing about some of my key relationships, I needed to figure out what I did wrong, how I contributed to the demise ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.