The ABCs of Reuniting with Your Ex

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The ABCs of Reuniting with Your Ex

After the
breakup, you may have put your ex on a pedestal, remembering the relationship
through rose colored glasses. If you've got reuniting on your mind, you should
know that the odds are stacked against you. After all, your relationship
probably ended for a good reason. Reuniting won't automatically fix what was
wrong in the first place. The reality is, there were issues, problems, and
traits your ex possessed that probably drove you nuts. Right about now, you may
be in denial about that. But rest assured, once you reunite, those
frustrations, annoyances, and/or challenges will come rushing back. And unless
you and your ex find new approaches to dealing with old habits and patterns,
you could easily end up exactly where you left off -- at each other's throats
and ultimately broken up. Having said that, just because the odds aren't in
your favor does not mean you shouldn't give the relationship another chance.
You just need to be aware of the challenges involved -- and the odds of success
-- in reviving a once-dead relationship.

3. Be willing to leave the past
behind

 

Regardless
of why you broke up in the past, if you and your ex intend to reunite, you've
both got to be willing to leave the past behind. That doesn't necessarily mean
forgetting the past, but forgiving is essential. Otherwise, you're doomed to
relationship failure. If somebody cheated, lied, and/or betrayed the other one
in any way, both partners have to be willing to forgive and make a fresh start.
It's the only way to make your second chance successful. Before you give the
relationship another go, you need to have an honest and open conversation about
whether or not the two of you can forgive one another. It may not be a fun
conversation, but it's an essential one to your future relationship success.

4. It
takes two to tango (and make it work)

If you’ve
assessed the reasons why you want to reunite, have weighed the odds against
you, and still want to get back together, you need to make sure your ex is on
the same page. This may be a difficult discussion to broach, but it's a
necessary one if you want to have a future together. After all, it takes two to
tango, and both partners have to be equally committed to the dance. You won't
know until you sit down and have that honest and open conversation. You may not
like the outcome, as the two of you may not see eye to eye about your future
together. But it's better to address the issues now and go your separate ways,
than reunite and get your heart broken all over again.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Steadman

Author

Lisa Steadman

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Life Management
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