Having trouble finding love? These 6 steps will help you attract a man in no time.
It was October 2013 when I heard, "Where's your man?" shouted up to me from the sidewalk. It came from a gal looking at me while I was on my roof, with rubber gloves on fishing leaves and muck out of my gutters. That question was spot on.
I paused for a moment as I pondered how a complete stranger could so perfectly nail my situation. I was putting myself in danger once again doing a job that was much better suited for men. Ladders and being on my roof scare me. Cleaning out smelly rotting leaves from my roof gutters ranks up there as one of my least favorite household maintenance activities, and I was doing it once again.
As I finished the job and got myself off the roof, dusted off my clothes and took off my gloves, I found myself reflecting on how long it had been since a man did difficult tasks for me. In the past, I had hired men for certain projects, or had a boyfriend help with a few items, but it had been a long time since I really had "a man"—a man who did hard tasks because he loved me and because we were a team. I felt a shift inside mixed with a bit of despair, and made a resolution to not go up on that roof to clean my gutters ever again.
This gutter cleaning event and a stranger's question stirred a desire deep within me. I reconnected with the goal of obtaining a partnership and love in my life again. I would re-focus on finding a man. I made a decision that by the following October, I would be together with a great guy.
As I got focused, I said "no" to things that would distract me from my intention. I cleared space and re-prioritized my time. When the New Year rang in, my word of the year was "love." I read books and articles on attracting a fabulous partner. I recited daily affirmations on manifesting love. I did a bit of Feng Shui in my house to open space for a man, and displayed visual symbols of love and partnership. I created a new vision board and filled it with pictures of hand holding, cuddling and other beautiful scenes of two people in love.
I enrolled in a week-long retreat out of state on relationships. I participated in exercises to clear baggage from the past, improve communication and understanding between men and women, created and wrote in a love journal, went shopping for new lingerie and a sexy dress, and reconnected with my feminine side.
Upon return from the retreat, I hired a relationship coach and spent a few months clearing out false beliefs and laid a foundation for being a lovable person. I practiced forgiveness from past hurts and cleared out dangling relationships. If I was seeing a man that I knew was not right for me, I made it clear that I did not want more than friendship.
And, of course, I dated. I joined two online sites and went on many dates. I practiced flirting and attracting men, and gave out the signal that I was available and ready for a relationship. I kept a positive attitude, acted self-confident and practiced persevering past disappointing dating experiences.
As you might have guessed by now, this story has a happy ending. I did attract and allow a man into my life. When we first started to date and cultivate a relationship, I had to allow it to grow. I was faced with relinquishing my comfort zone of long-standing independence. I leaned into the edge of a new life with a new man and loosened my grip on doing everything myself, my way. I allowed myself to be cared for and began to nourish the growing feelings between us. I let the relationship grow deeper, which required courage and baby steps.
So, now it is October 2014 and I watch from the ground below as he hangs off the side of my roof and digs out the leaves in my gutters. He is happy to help me. I ask him to pause and smile at the camera because I want to capture this moment. What a difference a year can make with a clear decision and intention coupled with consistent action, belief and perseverance.
Are you searching for love in your life? Here are 6 steps to manifest a fabulous relationship:
- Desire: you really want it.
- Decision: the time is now.
- Focus: clear space and re-prioritize your activities.
- Attract and sort: date a lot of men and quickly sort if they don't fit what you want.
- Cultivate: narrow the field to one and grow the connection.
- Deepen: nourish and devote yourself to the relationship.
Love is available to everyone. There is someone out there waiting for you to be ready. It all begins with a desire and a decision. May your next year be magical.