50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex

Your Inner Child


Your Inner Child
“It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” --Tom Robbins

You answer these questions with your non-dominant hand (Inner Child).  You’ll do this every day for the first four weeks.  Going back and forth four times should take anywhere between 10-30 minutes, or sometimes more.  The goal here is to develop the voice of the loving parent and to start listening to the Inner Child.  It’s the interaction between these two voices—this dialogue—that will lead to self-love.  You will become empowered to talk to yourself in a loving way.  You’ll learn how to navigate your own emotions; you won’t have to run to a boyfriend or a friend or a therapist.  You won’t need to run.  You’ll learn to talk yourself through challenging life situations.  That’s what Naked Dating is all about.  You have the power to transform yourself from the inside out.  How cool is that?

You need to choose a name to call your Inner Child.  It can be anything you’d like—Little Debbie, Mini Me, Buster, etc..  Many people call it Little (Your Name) or they use a childhood nickname.

More from YourTango: He Doesn’t Stop Until He Gets What He Wants


Healing happens at the emotional level.
Perhaps you’ve realized that talking yourself into feeling a certain way doesn’t work.  That’s because healing happens at the emotional, not the intellectual, level.  Have you ever tried to convince yourself to just “get over” a bad breakup or a fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend?  It doesn’t work, right?  You can’t just push your hurt feelings away.  The only way to get yourself to feel better is by first allowing yourself to feel your emotions and then applying love to the wound. Love is sort of like the salve that helps heal you heal your emotional wounds.  The Switching Hands Technique allows your wounded Inner Child to express and feel your painful emotions.  Then, the Loving Adult responds by giving the child the love it never got.   

But this process feels weird.
When you first begin to do the Switching Hands Technique, it will feel awkward.  Naked Daters know that they need to trust the process.  Whenever we begin doing a process of any kind, it can feel awkward and uncomfortable. This is intentional.  Most people tend to over-intellectualize their problems. The trouble with intellectualizing is this: If we already knew the answer—if we could rationalize our way out of a funk—we wouldn’t be stuck. Techniques or processes like this one are meant to get us out of our rational thinking mind and put us into a mindset that feels unfamiliar. 


As you dialogue between the two parts of yourself, you will hear yourself say things you weren’t even aware you were thinking. This can definitely feel awkward, but that’s okay.  As I mentioned earlier, this process is supposed to make you feel strange. Growth is uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable. It’s when we are able to get into our discomfort zone that we can begin to learn new things about ourselves. Techniques like this one feel awkward and don’t seem to make sense, so many people resist doing them. Even though you might not like doing it, you need to trust that the process will work. If you do, you will reap the benefits of Naked Dating: real growth and change.


Works Cited: Recovery of Your Inner Child

Become closer to yourself, schedule a valuable session today


Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC
Transformational Dating and Relationship Coach
(323) 939-1770

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Shield

Relationship Coach

Lisa Shield, MA, CPCC

I will show you how open your heart and attract true love with nothing to hide. To get started, go to my website and get my free ebook, "Five Simple Solutions to Turn Your Dating Around," sign up for informative newsletter, and book a free sample session today!

"Naked" Dating & Relationship Coach

(323) 939-1770

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: MA, PCC
Other Articles/News by Lisa Shield:

5 Silly Mistakes Women Make When Online Dating


You wouldn't believe some of the silly mistakes I see my clients make when online dating. Or, maybe you would. Maybe you're making some of these same errors yourself. Most single women are scared that they'll never find true love and that they'll wind up alone. My biggest fear was that I would find myself single with chin hairs and a houseful of ... Read more

6 Sexy Ways To Reignite Passion & Romance On Valentine's Day


After years of marital bliss, even the most passionate of couples can get stuck in a romantic rut. Before we know it, our careers, chores, and children have taken precedence in the relationship leaving almost no time for play. If we want romance, we actually have to schedule time for it. I know a lot of people like to get down on Valentine's Day. They think ... Read more

Want To Make Your Ex Jealous? Try An Invisible Girlfriend


I've finally seen it all. Have you heard of the Invisible Girlfriend app? For a monthly fee, you can create your own fictional virtual relationship…and it's enough to make Siri jealous.  This new service provides you with texts, phone calls, voicemails and will even give you a Facebook relationship with the invisible girlfriend of your ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Staying Dry

Letting Go Is Hard To Do

Healing your heart after divorce or loss of a spouse is worth the effort. Letting go is hard to do.

cozy up

Showing Love Through Touch

Touch is so incredibly important in relationships.


Listen Up, Darling: A Sex Kitten Is Never Hangry or Tired

Recently I shared eight surprising traits of a sex kitten. Each of those traits are ones that ...

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>