The good news is that as a Naked Dater, you can start to reclaim and champion your own wounded Inner Child. You can learn to give your Inner Child the positive, unconditional acceptance it needs to feel loved and whole. When you build this bond of love and trust within yourself, you will be able to love and trust another.
The Three Elements of the Inner Child:
You Inner Child consists of three elements: The Vulnerable Child, The Playful Child, and the Magical Child. It’s important to connect with them all because they each have something valuable to contribute to your dating.
More from YourTango: He Doesn’t Stop Until He Gets What He Wants
• The Vulnerable Child
The Vulnerable Child does not fit with the “adult” image we have of ourselves. We often label it as weak, needy, desperate, or insecure. Because of this, the Vulnerable Child might very well be the part of us that have keep buried deep inside. Notice when this child is present. He or she will usually come out when you’re feeling rejected, let down, or insulted by someone you find attractive. Observe what you do with these kinds of feelings. Do you allow yourself to truly feel them, or do you tend to block them out with things like food, alcohol, TV, over-socializing, or extra work? The only way to let someone into your heart is to let down your guard and get emotionally naked. Before this can happen, you need to prove to your Vulnerable Child that it can trust that, when it makes a mistake, you won’t be punishing and pull your love away.
More from YourTango: WHAT DATING COACHING CAN DO FOR YOU
• The Playful Child
When we’re dating, we’re not just looking for love; we’re looking for a lover. Lovers are the ultimate playmates. Unfortunately, as adults, many of us don’t know how to play anymore. We mistake play for overeating/drinking, taking drugs, gambling, or even compulsive shopping. Our preoccupation with an “adult image” and responsibilities means that we can lose our ability to be in the moment, enjoy the simple pleasures of life, and stop to smell the roses. Giving your Playful Child permission to come out will have a huge impact on your dating, especially if you’re one of the many adults who don’t take any time to play. Your Playful Inner Child can help you laugh and have more fun on your dates so you can make deeper and more positive connections.
• The Magical Child
The Magical child is a brother/sister to the Playful Child, and acts as the child of imagination and fantasy. According to Hal Stone and Sidra Winkelman (Embracing Ourselves), this is the child of your intuition and creative imagination. It knows that the physical world started in imagination. It knows it is one with all creation. It believes in the unseen. This child is the dreamer within. Connecting with your Magical Child as you date will prove invaluable because this is the part of you that can help you envision a new and better way to love.