To help build this connection, I will show you how to dialogue with your Inner Child. You heard me right: as a Naked Dater, you will have actual conversations with your Inner Kid and start really listening to what it has to say. The child in you knows what it needs, and it will tell you if you pay attention to it. As you build a relationship with your child, you can begin give it the love, guidance, and healthy boundaries it didn’t get as a youngster. Learning to embrace your Inner Child in this way will help you begin to heal issues of intimacy, abandonment, and trust at a core level. Like other Naked Daters, once you begin to resolve these issues, you will find that your heart and mind is more open to giving and receiving love.
Qualities of the Inner Child That Might Have Gotten Lost Along the Way:
Your Inner Child is the emotional part of you, the part that cries, gets sad, and loves to have fun and play. In order for your Inner Child to feel safe enough to come out, it needs to feel loved and accepted. When it doesn’t feel safe, it hides. Below is a list of some of the qualities of the Inner Child that might have gotten lost or hidden when your Inner Child didn’t feel safe.
• A Sense of Wonder: The ability to be awed by life
• Optimism: The ability to feel positive about life
• Innocence: The ability to see the good in life
• Vulnerability: The ability to be open and unguarded
• Emotions: The ability to truly experience your feelings
• Resilience: The ability to let go of disappointments
• Play: The ability to fully enjoy the moment
• Uniqueness: The ability to feel connected with yourself
• Love: The ability to be positive and accept others and yourself unconditionally
The Effect the Wounded Inner Child Can Have on Relationships:
Here are some of the negative ways the Wounded Inner Child can sabotage your relationships when it isn’t getting what it needs from you:
• Offensive Behavior
• Narcissistic Behavior
• Trust Issues
• Magical Thinking (i.e. everything will magically fix itself)
• Intimacy Issues
• Immature Behaviors
• Addictive/Compulsive Behaviors
The Inner Child and Self-Love
We often hear people say, “You have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else,” but what exactly does this mean? How are you supposed to learn to love yourself? What would that even look like? Here’s the thing: If you’re a Naked Dater, you want to love yourself. The problem is, you might not know how to do that. You might not have learned to talk to yourself in a loving way.
As I already mentioned, we mostly learned from our parents is how to beat up on ourselves. We learned how to be critical and judgmental, and to motivate ourselves through negative reinforcement. We don’t know how to be loving, encouraging, and positive because most of the time, that wasn’t the kind of feedback we got.