Many of you might already have seen that you can go out on one date after another, but if you’re repeating the same patterns, attracting different versions of the same person over and over again, nothing is going to change. You will never find a truly loving relationship this way. One of the hardest things to do is to identify and break relationship patterns. Why? Because we are so convinced that the flood of emotions we feel when we meet someone who triggers our pattern is love. “But I can’t help it. This is what I am attracted to.” I hear this all the time from clients. As long as you keep telling yourself this, then it’s true. You will keep thinking that the crazy over-the-top feeling you get when you meet someone who is wrong for you is love. “But it feels so good and it feels so real, and I want to have chemistry with someone.” As long as you believe this, it will be your reality. The truth is that your beliefs are what cause you to feel a certain way, not the other way around. You do not feel aroused and then think, “God, he’s hot.” You think, “God, he’s hot!” and then you start feeling aroused. As your coach, I will help you first identify your relationship patterns and then we will begin to change the thinking that is causing you to repeat these patterns. Just being aware of the pattern doesn’t help you stop repeating it. To break a pattern you need to change the belief system that’s causing you to feel a certain way. Then, you need to apply this to the choices you make in dating. You need to go out on dates and break the pattern by making different choices in the moment. As your Naked Dating® coach, I will show you how this is done.
Holding you accountable for dating…
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One of my all-time favorite clients emailed me this past Friday for an emergency powwow (session). Here’s what she said:
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. I’m looking forward to seeing you too and having you help me not be a dating dodo! Heading into week two of online dating, pretty hilarious (as I’m sure you know), even had a guy send me a picture of him holding two big coconuts in front of his two little coconuts… hahaha people… please!
But here are my questions and concerns about me! I’m afraid that I may turn away a good match because:
a) I’m not impressed with their profession
b) I’m not super attracted to them psychically
I’ve just begun communicating with a guy that’s handsome and seems sweet but he works in construction/building. And I feel like an ass because I’m being very “judgey” (in my head) about it. Then there have been a couple other nice guys but I’m really not that attracted to them.
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I definitely think I’m going to need your help so I don’t pass up a guy for a BS reason OR don’t say yes because I feel guilty. Ha! It’s good to be me.